The First Parting, the End of the Year

My suitcase is packed, my carry-on is ready, my 3 oz of liquid medication is in a zip-lock bag, the documents are organized in chronological order, my clothes for the morning are ironed and laid out, I'm physically ready to go. I have to have my feet on the floor and be upright at 5:30 a.m. I'm also mentally ready to go. Emotionally? Well, that's another hurdle that I was dealing with all day as I thought of leaving Rand. But I did it! Tonight I had a smiling, upbeat "goodnight-I'll-be-back soon" parting with Rand. He seems to understand that I will be gone and was sad. I left a string of red hearts for him to remember each day that I love him and will be back. Each one is numbered so he can grasp the time passage/concept.

It is 85 degrees and sunny in Acapulco and environs. Soaking up the sun, sleeping in a deck chair, actually reading a book, having nothing to do, having meals at any time, breakfast or a drink on our balcony - wow - am I ready! We will be celebrating Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Year's Eve at sea. How nifty is that? Photos will follow - just a couple, I promise! I plan to absorb and hang on to every single minute for future giggles, warmth and solace.

Obviously, this epistle will be on hiatus until January 2, 2007. I doubt if there will be any withdrawal pains for either of us - enjoy my silence while it lasts!

Rand and I wish you the very, very best of holiday seasons and a happy, healthy 2007. Thank you, once again, for being there for us in 2006. And thank you for having your arteries scanned! We can't afford to lose one of you!

Keep Rand close in your thoughts and prayers as this year ends and a new, better, stronger one begins.

Love,
Connie

December 21, 2006 - Day 340

Oh, how close we are getting to Day 365. Full circle. One year of astounding, " 'mazing" events, progress, set backs, life changes. I can't tell you how often I wondered if both of us would make it. Thirty-seven days left and counting.

I've also wondered how I would ever get through the Christmas season without Rand. A thousand times I came within inches of canceling out of this cruise. Last summer I changed our stateroom to one that was handicapped equipped so Rand could go with us. I looked into the cost of taking a full time care giver along. Then I thought I could take care of Rand myself. Finally, reality hit and I canceled Rand's reservation, reverted back to our original stateroom and decided to keep the commitment we had made to my sister and friends. Now I can't even imagine that I ever considered not going on this cruise. I am in such need of a change of scenery, of routine, in need of fun, laughter, good times, eating someone else's cooking (!!) for eight straight days, I can't tell you! The thought of sitting home Christmas Eve, trying to make Christmas Day fun and good for Rand is almost more than I can handle right now. In spite of all that, I still have mixed emotions about leaving him. I know, I know - he'll be fine. Maybe I will see progress in him when I return that I usually don't see because I am so close to him.

This afternoon we had a good long visit from our niece, Beth, her husband Eric and daughter Anya. It has been several years since we've been together so it was a good time. It is Eric's dad, Bill, who frequently brings his barber-shop quartet to sing at Rand's home. Anya (age 6) sang "Away In A Manger" for us and Rand chimed in a bit at the end. A grand afternoon.

For his birthday last February, I gave Rand a single disk cd player/radio that he could have by his hospital bed. What an unenlightened decision that was! He can no more handle cds than fly to the moon. He can no more deal with the buttons on a small cd player/radio than fly to the moon! Uff da. So today, his Christmas present was a speaker unit that holds our iPod and is operated by a remote. The iPod is programed with hundreds and hundreds of pieces of music so he can surf to his heart's content. The stereotype of guys and remotes must be true because Rand is still an expert with them! I set it up for him and he smiled from ear to ear as he operated the volume, the on/off switch, etc. I hope this will be more successful. Manny happily took the cd player and holders for cds.

Tomorrow is our big day - Rand opens the last of his Christmas presents while we have a quiet time together and then go to a friend's house to watch football, eat pizza, munch, sip, and enjoy the company of friends. I'm dreading saying good-bye to Rand tomorrow night. He won't be upset if I can stay in control, be happy and smiling when I leave him. Rand will have another rash of Christmas presents on Christmas Day and a special Christmas dinner and celebration at his home. You should see all the gifts under the beautiful tree! I doubt that the feast will include lutefisk and lefse!

I had a good session with Meg last night. She always helps me get a grip on reality and leads me to insights that have passed me by. Rand has little understanding of what is going on with Christmas, the significance, the rituals, the celebration. I'm the one knocking myself out to rekindle memories of Christmas's past, to continue the traditions - none of which mean anything to Rand this year. But now we are starting new traditions. In many ways, this is our first Christmas together. It is another time, it is starting over from scratch, we are both different people than we were a year ago. Our 43 year old traditions are now sweet memories and it is time to move on and start anew. It sounds good, uplifting, brave, clean and reverent, but MAN IS IT HARD TO DO!! And the new path is a slippery slope greased with many, many tears. A dear college friend called this morning and we had a good talk, shed a few tears, laughed and gave each other a long distance hug. It was good for the soul.

Keep Rand so very close this Christmas season. Being Rand's wife is the best job in the world!

Love,
Connie

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This is a huge holiday hug and thank you to you from both of us for all of the support, love, kindness and faith you have shown us since Rand's stroke eleven months ago. From those first days in the hospital to the months that have followed, your unfailing friendship has meant more to us than you will ever know. Your support has come in so many forms - your presence, cards, phone calls, food, emails, help around the house, advice, prayers, good thoughts, visits with Rand in countless nursing homes, hospitals, rehab centers and Rand's Room. You've encouraged us, cried with us, hugged, laughed and been happy with us. You've spent hours working with Rand to make him the best he can be. You've shared all the woes and whoopies with us, taught Rand to play games, to sing, to laugh, to remember and to forget. Each of you is precious to us. If it is true that you can count your blessings by the number of friends you have, then Rand and I are blessed beyond all imagining. Thank you, dear friends. Have a blessed holiday and a spectacular 2007!
Love,
Rand and Connie

December 9, 2006 - Day 317

Wheeeeee - what a day this has been! There was an Open House at Rand's home this afternoon so we tagged onto that and invited some friends to join us. There was enough food to feed a small army and I think everyone had a good time in spite of the rain. I've included some photos below. It was great to see everyone, to have so many friends together. Rand was pooped by the time everyone left. He'd also had more than enough wine and rich food! Everyone marveled at how good Rand looks. He tried talking, was very responsive and thoroughly enjoyed himself.

One handsome dude and "The Wife."


Geoff and Rand, otherwise known as "Frick and Frack."


Rand greeting friends on the front porch

Keep Rand close this holiday season.

Love,
Connie

December 5, 2006 - Day 313

Today was another quiet day. Rand had speech therapy this afternoon and struggled with comprehension. When shown pictures of familiar things (bed, chair, pillows) he couldn't identify them even with prompting. He was successful less than 40% of the time. He was frustrated with himself when told he was wrong. He tried so hard, but the correct responses just wouldn't come. There was one funny time, however. Like all speech therapists, this one wants to sing with Rand. He's always game to sing and we do it a lot in the car. Anyway, it turns out that this gal is one step (half a step??) away from being a complete monotone. With Rand's wonderful voice and keen sense of pitch, he was in agony! She tried to have him sing "Jingle Bells" with her and he sat silently. She asked me if anyone had ever sung with him before - what was wrong, why wouldn't he sing with her? Well, I suggested that maybe she should start the song a little higher. I'm not much of a vocalist either, but, by golly, I can carry a tune - so I started the song and Rand chimed in followed by her flat monotone. We got through the song and Rand turned, looked at me and said, "JEEZE!" I agreed! We got out of there before she decided on "Oh, Holy Night!"

On the way home I told Rand about a reception that I was attending this evening and asked if he minded driving by the location just to make sure I knew where I was going. He agreed and I started off. Now, we haven't been to this place in well over five years, yet Rand told me exactly where to turn and how to get there! It was several miles out of our way and he knew the route by heart. His brain never ceases to amaze me.

Manny worked with Rand on using the doorbell today. I sure hope Rand learns to use it.

Thanks for asking, but I think the mouse/rat has left the building! I set out the gooey traps for it/them but they haven't shown up since. Good riddance - I hope!

Keep Rand close.

Love,
Connie

December 3, 2006 - Day 311

There wasn't a dry eye in our little group at PT/OT today - except for Rand who shrugged it off. And "shrugged it off" is the key phrase. At least once a week since his stroke, therapists have asked him, showed him, tried to help him shrug his shoulder(s). In the first months he could not understand the directions, in the following months he was able to shrug his left shoulder, but today, after four days of intensive work on his right side, he shrugged BOTH shoulders!! He actually has developed some muscle tone and control in his shoulder/chest/back to allow him to do that. Mollie was holding his arm in the shoulder socket but he moved his shoulder by himself - again and again! Mollie and I were teary, Thuan was clapping and high-fiveing Rand, Aylann had her hands over her mouth in astonishment! The instructors came by to watch and they were whooping with delight! Rand was laughing and "shrugged it off!" Wheeeeeee!

Tomorrow is the last day of this special PT/OT class and I am so sorry to see it end. Rand has made so much progress during this short time. I talked with the instructors this afternoon and asked if Rand could participate in another session if/when one is held. A while later they came back and said that they want him in the class in January and again in February! Double Wheeeeeee! The classes will be in Los Gatos and Santa Cruz and I assured them that I'll get him there come hell or high water! They love having Rand as a subject because he is so cooperative, pleasant, fun, has great stamina, and is cute besides! Thuan has learned so much and is working very hard also. He takes notes in Vietnamese then during breaks in his night job, translates them into English and then gets them on the computer at home. He's as excited about the new classes as I am. Again, Rand shrugged it off as not a big deal. Whoooopie!

Tomorrow I'm bringing in a small Christmas tree for the table in front of the window in Rand's Room. I've selected ornaments that we collected on our travels and, after a review of them, Rand will decorate the tree - then there will be a quiz!

Keep Rand close. He's remarkable.

Love,
Connie

December 2, 2006 - Day 310

Today begins the eleventh month since Rand's stroke. I was heartened to hear from the wives at the special PT class that their husbands are now over one and two years out since their strokes and they are still making progress! I have been told repeatedly that the one year mark is also the time when progress starts slowing to a halt. Obviously, that ain't necessarily so.

Today Rand had his second session of the special therapy. Yesterday Rand stood up without assistance from anything, including his left hand/arm. Today he did that again and again. They worked hard on his right shoulder which is painful as his upper arm has separated from the socket. They held his arm and shoulder in place and had him reach for objects which stretched his abdominal and trunk muscles on both sides. The amazing part of the picture below is that he is doing just that with no pain as his right shoulder is being pushed back into the socket. Alin, PT from NY, is working his shoulder and Mollie, OT from AZ, is watching. After a few tries, Rand touched the glass - a major accomplishment. And obviously, he enjoyed it! They also worked a lot on putting weight on his right hand/arm and they finally got him to stand using that limb as the push off point. That was huge also! Thuan clapped when Rand did that - I think Thuan is more excited to see this progress than I am! He was bubbling all over on the way home, talking about what he has learned and what Rand can do and how he will reinforce that at home. Tomorrow, Alin and Mollie will have Rand walking with his cane.

Notice that Alin has her stocking foot on Rand's right hand. That hand wants to curl up and freeze into a fist. It is a constant battle to keep it open and flexible. This is one way to do it! These women are so flexible and nimble that it amazes me. Were we ever like that??

Keep Rand close in your hearts and prayers. He is doing remarkable things!

Love,
Connie

November 28, 2006 - Day 306

Rand is going to be a demonstration patient for the Neuro-developmental Treatment class for five days, beginning this Thursday! Yippee! The class is taught at a local hospital to graduate OTs and PTs from around the nation. It is a four week course - the first two weeks are held here and are classroom work. The third week the students return to their home venues and use the techniques they've learned on their patients. The fourth week they return to San Jose to work with selected patients under the guidance/critical eye of the instructor. These students are now returning for their fourth week and Rand will be one of the patients! The course is geared to people who have had strokes and the treatment concentrates on his weak side. I'm so happy about that, as to date, everyone has dismissed Rand's right side as being so damaged that it isn't worth putting time and energy in to it. They will work on strengthening the trunk muscles, the right side, balance and to get him to stand straighter, put weight on his right leg, and to be confident in his ability to stand and balance. If they can do that, I'll be sooooooooooo happy! The instructor said that I can bring Thuan along also so he can see the techniques and that I will be able to sit with the other wives and gab about the changes in our lives as a result of the stroke. That is something I have not done at all and I think it will be good for me. Now I have a bunch of appointments to rearrange, etc. so we can pull this off. I'm thrilled!

Last night was Kellie's last speech session with Rand. I may have found another SLP who is willing to come to Rand's house to work with him. Her name is also Kellie! I'm waiting for a call from her so we can chat and get somethings set up. Between Thuan and the "Kellies", the extra monthly expenses are huge, but I think they are worth every cent as Rand is trying so hard and is still making progress. I dread the day when their services are no longer needed.

All is well. Keep Rand close.

Love,
Connie

November 25, Days 302 and 303

The last two days have passed in a whirlwind. I've been too pooped to pop let alone write my daily journal entries. I've been busy taking down fall/Thanksgiving decorations and putting up Christmas decorations. I decided that this year I would only put up what I could do, inside and out, in one day. That should mean I can take it all down in one day, too, right? Therefore, all of our decorations are scaled way back. That's fine, as I'm not in the holiday mood this year.

Rand and I took a short walk yesterday, saw some neighbors and Rand had visitors. Today was pretty much the same, minus the walk. The weather has been so lovely, sunny, clear blue skies, with a nip in the air. We'll take advantage of it as long as it lasts.

Today I started writing down the words that Rand said - usually at random, including sentence fragments. Rand was anxious to read everything I wrote. Finally he said, "I want water." I gave him water but he didn't want it. He said it over and over again - I want water, water, water. He used hand gestures that meant nothing to me, like twisting his hand in the air, moving it back and forth over the table top, he was so, so frustrated. He took my face in his hand, put his face up close to mine and said "I want WATER!" Still, I couldn't figure out what he wanted. He wouldn't give up and repeated the word incessantly until I asked him if he could draw it. He said YES!! He took the pen and wrote "RAND." I said, "Rand." He beamed and said "Yes, I'm Rand." Then he said his name over and over like he was trying to imprint it in his brain - I'm Rand, I'm Rand, I'm Rand. He does this often and unfortunately, the word/name never sticks with him. But it was so simple, I tried making it too complicated. All he wanted was his name. I pointed out the similarities and differences between water and Rand, but he was not interested. He was ready for dinner by then. And so it goes.

Keep Rand close. He is trying so, so hard.

Love,
Connie

November 12, 2006 - Day 290

A good friend reminded me of Winston Churchill's famous quote: "When you are going through hell, just keep going." Wise man. That's what I've been trying to do and I'm feeling better. I still tear up when I think of living without Rand close to me or in the next room, but I'm on the long road to acceptance.

Today was bright and sunny, warmer and drier than yesterday, so Rand and I went on an opplevelse. I threw "Willie" in the back of the car and we took off for Los Gatos. We did some Christmas shopping and had a late lunch. Rand was a real trooper, in fact I think he enjoyed the shopping as much as I did. It is amazing how narrow the aisles are when Christmas stuff if out. It is very precarious pushing a wheelchair through most stores. We got back just in time for dinner but I think Rand was stuffed! This was his second time in a restaurant and he did very well. He is conscious of his food, drink, napkins, and careful not to spill, to wipe his mouth and clean his hand. He has made great progress in that area. Fitting the wheelchair arms under the table is still an issue, so he sits further away from the table than the rest of us, which causes some problems. He is now aware of that and is more careful. It is so nice to be able to go out together again. It will be awhile before we go out for a "real" dinner, due to the hour and other issues, but for now, this is perfect.

Last year Rand, my sister Annie, and I planned a cruise to the Mexican Riviera at Christmas this year. In spite of everything that has happened, Annie, some other friends and I are still going. It is about six weeks away and I'm getting excited - I have started my packing list. I have talked to Rand about it casually, reminded him of it, but I haven't put it on his calendar yet. That time will come in the next couple of weeks. I don't think he really understands. Over the last year, when I have stopped to think about the trip, I've always worried how Rand would be without me for over a week and frequently thought I should cancel. After this latest melt down, I am less and less worried. He will miss me, but he will be OK. I'll call him every day and our lives will go on.

Keep Rand close.

Love,
Connie

November 8, 2006 - Day 286

The last couple of weeks have been especially tough for me as I have decided that I need to come to grips with the issues about whether or not Rand could come home to live some day in the future. At the urging of a friend, I have been making lists of pros and cons for both Rand and me. I've started another list of safety issues, yet another list of concerns for myself and yet more lists of unanswered questions. I have asked the professionals that work with Rand for their assessments and those created more pages of information. Last night I met with the speech therapist, followed by the doctor and nurse who own and operate Rand's Room. Those meetings, along with the rest of the information, gave me a pretty definitive answer. That answer is no, Rand will not be coming home to live. Not in the short term nor the long term. His deficits are so significant that he will not be safe here. I can not provide the level of care that he is receiving, even with round-the-clock help.

The doctor told me that Rand is fortunate in a way, because the portion of his brain that registers "psychic emotion" (I think that is the term he used) is no longer functioning. That is the part of the brain that longs for things gone, pines for what used to be. Rand doesn't have that capacity any more. He doesn't long to be able to walk again, to drive a car, to swing a golf club, mow the lawn. He might show signs of recognition of those activities but he isn't depressed about them, he doesn't miss them, he could care less. The doctor talked about people in Rand's situation who have that piece of the brain intact and what a horrible existence they have - continually depressed. He said that Rand is lucky in that way and so am I. He said that the guilt factor for the spouse is enormous in those situations.

We also discussed Rand's inability to communicate, especially his lack of ability to initiate signals for help and his complete lack of awareness of safety issues. He does not recognize unsafe situations any more, in short, has little or no common sense about changing situations. All of these things, plus dozens more, led me to the conclusion that I cannot have Rand live at home. I haven't even told you about the discussion around needing two care givers 24/7 for him, probably for ever, the monitoring of his health and his meds. The lists go on and on.

Now I have to start working on myself. Obviously, I'm the one with the problem here, not Rand. He is content, safe, well-cared for. I'm the one who misses him, wants things to be the way they were or at least a semblance of the way they were. This isn't the way things are supposed to be! Rand belongs at home. Down deep inside I think I have always thought that he would come home eventually. I have to deal with this so I can get on with life. I'll figure it out over time and get through this one too, with help from friends, Meg and myself. I must to come to grips with this, to be able to enjoy life again and take pleasure in Rand as he is now. Thanks for listening.

Keep Rand close.

Love,
Connie

November 4, 2006 - Day 282

Recently, I have realized that I need to come to grips with the criteria for making a decision about if and/or when Rand can come home to live. The decision will not be easy, not fast, but deliberate, well-thought out, and as unemotional and as realistic as possible. To that end, I am bringing Rand home more often, noting physical barriers, safety issues, mental and emotional reactions and trying to keep it all in perspective. The decision won't be made for many, many months, and the transition, if any, would be slow and well-planned. The epistle below is from today and shows the range of feelings from the sublime to the ridiculous - from the scary to the sad.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Today Rand and I had as normal a day at home as possible. It was very nice and it was especially nice not to have to run back and forth to his house, spend time with him and then come home and deal with stuff around our house. After lunch, I did the ironing while he watched football and golf. I dealt with email while he snoozed. I also took mental notes for my "coming home" criteria list as we went along. One major issue is that Rand can not summon help or assistance, therefore I have to check on him every few minutes. He was sitting at the kitchen table and wanted to watch TV so he scooted himself, in the kitchen chair, near the doorway so he could lean over and peer around the wall at the TV. Scared me to death when I found him! I hadn't left him alone for even 10 min. when I happened to return to the kitchen. He can not remember to use a bell, he cannot call out or summon me in any way and does not see or understand unsafe situations. It is incumbent on me or a caregiver to check on or be with him constantly. That whole thing is a MAJOR safety issue. I don't know if he can be trained to use a bell to call for help or not. So far, it hasn't worked.

When we arrived home today, I wheeled Rand on the sidewalk along the side of the house and came through the back sliding door in the living room. Later I discovered that while traveling on the sidewalk, I ran his wheelchair over the head/neck of a good sized, slow moving lizard! YUCK! Greasy, grimy, lizard guts all over the sidewalk and wheels!! I didn't notice it but when I told Rand about it, he knew. He watched it happen and said not a word. I then pushed his lizard covered wheelchair wheels merrily across our pale carpet. Double uff da!! Sort of funny, but it points out how little he reacts to. Normally, he would go out of his way to avoid hitting that lizard, would warn me of it, would call my attention to it. No more. It isn't important, not a concern. In his mind It is gone as quickly as it happened. The possible consequences of that "road kill" did not register at all.

Oh my. I loved having him home today, but the issues around him living here are so huge. Maybe I need to think in terms of other living arrangements for us. My list of pros and cons, cause and effect, yes and no, serious and silly will continue to grow as I wrestle with this decision. I know what Rand's decision would be. There is no question in my mind.

Keep him close. He was sad when I took him to his house tonight.

Love,
Connie

October 28, 2006 - Day 275

It was nine months ago this morning that Rand had the stroke. For the better part of those nine months, he has been in the hospital, rehab centers and nursing homes. He has been in his own room for a little over three months now, and what a difference those three months have made! He is healthy, looks great, is getting stronger and stronger, his receptive and expressive language are still shaky but so, so much better than before. There is so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving and every day. Many, many of those 276 days, had I been able to think ahead, I would not have bet that Rand would be coming home for Thanksgiving, but he is!! This will be the best Thanksgiving ever.

Last spring, when Rand was in Vallejo Rehab Hospital, his sister Karen and her husband, Kaj, suggested getting a display board of some kind for his new room. We pondered, we looked, we searched the web, we tried to find alternatives to a bulletin board. Nothing was the right size, the right shape, etc., until recently when we found the perfect thing - a folding display screen. Karen and Kaj bought the screen for Rand's Room and I have been busy putting together the pictures and display for him. Today it was finished and I delivered it to Rand. He was delighted with it, pointing to pictures that he recognized immediately, chuckling over others, and puzzled by still others. It will be a good talking point for visitors and a good memory jogger for him. It also hides some paraphernalia that has no other storage space in his room. As I find pictures of us, of our travels, friends and family, I'll bring them in and Rand can choose which ones he wants displayed next. Thanks, K and K! This is such a nice, multi-purpose addition to Rand's Room. The photos and display will change frequently.
Rand had a long nap today and then we went for a long walk. Otherwise, the day was uneventful, as all days have been for several months. His primary care physician and his neurologist both gave him clean bills of health last week. The neurologist increased the meds for muscle spasms. Several months ago, Rand was taking 300 mg a day of this med, now he is taking 2700 mg a day! At that, he still has bouts of terrible pain every day, but they are shorter in duration and fewer than before.

All is well. Keep Rand close in your thoughts and prayers.

Love, Connie



October 22 - 23, 2006 - Day 269/270

Well, we made it! Dinner and Rand's time at home were a success. I brought him home Sunday about 4:00 and we toured the house and yard. He ooooohed and aaaaahhed over it all. It has been three months since he was here and he was not as healthy then as he is now, so I suspect that much of this was new to him. We went for a walk down Jeremie Drive and met several neighbors, sat on their patios and had talked. We returned home for champagne, cheese and crackers. Rand read the paper while I fixed dinner - same old routine! Rand seemed to enjoy his requested meal and had no trouble eating. We washed it down with a 1999 McDowell Syrah - very nice. Shortly after 7:00 he was ready to leave. More neighbors came by to say hello and we left about 7:30. Rand was happy to get back to his home and didn't have a problem leaving here. I had a problem with his leaving and got rather teary when I left him in his room. Rand laughed about it and I know I have to get over it. Below is a bad photo of him at the end of dinner. He was stuffed when he left and I brought a bunch of food to his house so they can all enjoy it tomorrow.

On Monday, Rand and I talked about dinner at home. I asked about the food, what he thought of the house, yard, etc. He approved of it all. I asked if he would come home again for dinner and he carefully and slowly said, "I want to come home for always." I didn't know what to say. I can't give him false hope or build up his expectations, yet I don't want him to give up either. I guess, like everything else, we'll take it one day at a time and let the future unfold as it will. Man, this is hard!

I have to start laying the ground work for the trip at Christmas and being gone for a week and another week in February. I guess I will know what to say when the time comes and how to deal with it as the time draws near. Rand follows the calendar like a hawk, knows which day it is, what's coming next, crosses off the dates every couple of days - just like he tracks time on his watch. He is amazing.

We had some good phone calls this weekend - from my college roomie, my aunt in Portland and several friends. Thank you - we love hearing from everyone.

Keep Rand close. Every day things seem to change and get better and better.

Love,
Connie

October 13, 2006 - Day 260

It is so wonderful to have so many photos to send you showing Rand's progress this week. Enjoy them.

A major key to Rand's ability to walk is learning to lift his right leg and to move it forward. His brace keeps his ankle and toes locked in place and unable to bend. Therefore, moving/lifting his paralyzed right leg/foot is even more of a challenge. The pictures below were taken today as Thuan, with Manny's assistance, worked with Rand, walking and lifting his right foot. Kiki, Michael, friend Laurie and I were all there cheering him on! I was "Connie the Smoocher" at the end of the ramp, ready to give him a big kiss when he walked to me! He walked that ramp six times this afternoon, and at the end of each segment, he practiced lifting his right and left feet ten times each. Each time he lifted his foot higher and higher. He was pooped by the end of the session! I didn't capture his best efforts on film, but I hope you get the idea.
Trying to lift his right foot with Thuan and Manny coaching. Trying, trying, trying .
Still trying - it is such an effort. Notice the determination on his face.
He did it! Now, count 1, 2, 3, to 10, ten times with each foot at the end of each walk up the ramp. That's a lot of energy and determination and it shows in his face.
The trick here is to have Rand balance on his right leg, of which he is barely aware plus it is weak, and lift his left foot 60 times. Uff da! But he did it!
Later, at a nearby park during an outing, Kiki and Michael presented Rand with a Norwegian flag pin for his right arm sling. He's a happy camper!
Michael has such long arms that he can hold the camera at arm's length and get us all in the picture! This was at the end of our time at Almaden Lake Park together this afternoon.

Kiki and Michael have been so good for Rand. They have made him laugh, made him walk taller and prouder. We have gone places together and they have been so flexible, helpful, fun and funny. They have made both of our lives bright and cheery this week. They are leaving in the morning and we'll miss them very much.

Keep Rand close to your hearts and in your thoughts and prayers. He has made such progress in the last few weeks and it was wonderful to have Kiki and Michael here to see much of it, to share in the joy and to cheer him on. He and I will see to it that the progress continues!

Love,
Connie

October 12, 2006 - Day 259

We had such a wonderful afternoon together in Vasona Park! Michael grilled sausages, we feasted on salads, watermelon, cookies, drank beer, played catch, went for a stroll, had a grand time together in the wonderful sunshine. After a letting Rand nap in his room, Kiki and Michael went back to his house to watch Thuan work with him and to watch him walk. Rand did six segments of walking up the incline on the back patio of his house. He was pooped from all the fresh air, the food, excitement and fun. Wheeeeee! What a grand day it was! The pictures below tell the story.

Rand and Kiki smooching at the picnic table

Playing catch - throwing as hard as he can - notice "Willie" the new transport chair.

A Norwegian Joe Montana in action!

Kiki as Jeraldine/Jerry Rice!

The picnicers at the end of another opplevelse!

Keep Rand close. These days are so precious and we love every minute!

Love,
Connie

October 11, 2006, Day 258

Rand and I have been having a good time with our niece Kiki and husband Michael - hence, the delay in the daily epistles.

The pictures below were taken this afternoon at Rand's physical therapy session. Laura, the PT, and Thuan, the CVN, are working with Rand on the treadmill. He walked the longest time at the highest grade yet! He doesn't get tired, but Laura and Thuan sure do! It is amazing to watch him. His attitude is so good, he doesn't quit, he wants to keep going.
Rand is all strapped in to the harness, Thuan and Laura are positioning his foot/leg to get him ready to walk to the treadmill. The harness takes much of his weight off his legs so they move more easily.Laura and Rand in a light moment - good relationship and chemistry between these two!Laura and Thuan moving Rand's right leg and foot as he treads on the tread millLaura and Thuan helping Rand step off the treadmill
Laura helping Rand walk back to his wheelchair.

Rand works out on the treadmill every Wednesday afternoon. When Laura started working with him six weeks ago, Rand could not stand up. Now he is doing so much for himself. He has walked alone at his home because of the strength, balance and confidence he has built up in PT. Also because of Thuan's constant reinforcement of "next steps" that he learns from Laura each week.

After an hour on the treadmill, Rand goes off to OT for another hour of work on his right arm and shoulder. He's pooped by the time he goes home late Wednesday afternoons!

Keep Rand close. He is doing soooooooo, soooooooooo well and is having such a good time with Kiki and Michael here!

Love,
Connie

October 9, 2006 - Days 24 and 253

I was so struck by the contrast between these two pictures of Rand that I had to share them. The first one was taken on February 24, 2006 - his birthday. Notice his eyes - he seems detached, vacant, exhausted, bewildered. He has a high back wheelchair to support his head and neck. He had just relearned how to swallow.


February 24, 2006 - Rand's birthday and Day 24

The second picture was taken yesterday and Rand is Rand is Rand! He is so full of life and so happy, he looks like he could burst! I don't care what the doctors say, Rand has made remarkable progress and it is continuing to get better every day. He lost 20+ pounds between the first picture and the second one but he looks thinner in the first one.


October 7, 2006, Day 253 - Rand is looking at Michael who was taking a picture at the same time as me and Kiki is looking at my camera.

Yikes - what a change!

Rand tried to talk a blue streak today but little was understandable. We went for a walk and had a good time together this afternoon. I left at dinnertime and will be back again tomorrow.

Keep Rand close in your thoughts and prayers. The pictures above show the results of excellent medical treatment, time, therapy, determination, persistence, faith and caring.

Love,
Connie

October 7, 2006 - Day 253

Niece Kiki and husband Michael arrived from Minneapolis last night. What a joy it is to have them here! Rand, Kiki, Michael and I had a big day. Rand was so happy to see them! We took Rand and his transport chair to local strolling shopping area where we had lunch. From there went to Los Gatos and strolled the streets. The weather was beautiful, the company was grand and we had a wonderful time together. You can see how happy Rand is from the photo taken with Kiki! Rand was out and about on this outing for about 5 hours and he was pooped when he got home!

Kiki and Michael are off to Hearst Castle, Morro Bay and environs Sunday morning and will return on Tuesday. The week will be filled with "oppleveles" for all of us.

Keep Rand close and rejoice in his excitement and happiness!

Love,
Connie

September, 2006

RAND’S PROGRESS

September 1, 2006
Day 215

Today we were back to "the norm." We spent from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. with doctor's appointments, lab tests, pharmacists and hurry up and wait kinds of things. Rand had several tough bouts of pain and a tough painkiller to get him through. The neurologist made some gradual changes in his meds and I hope, hope, hope that it will help. If not, then he has some other ammunition in his arsenal. We see him again in six weeks, barring other issues.

I think I'm finally making some headway with the speech therapy issues, but we'll still have to wait and see. Rand has had about 4 one hour speech therapy sessions in the last two months, and those were of questionable value. His needs are so great and his motivation is so high that it kills me that nothing is happening. Today I think I finally made some progress - I have been batting my head against a wall - and I hope that next week things will start to happen. I must be getting tired and worn down by the system as I've let it go on this long. Today the doctor told me that Kaiser doesn't have a speech therapy department because the need is so small! Every feather on my body stood up as I told him that INDEED KAISER DOES HAVE A SPEECH THERAPY DEPARTMENT!!!!! He went online and, to his amazement, discovered that Kaiser does indeed have a speech therapy department YIKES!! He's only been there 18 years - why did it take me to point out such a major department???? Uff da. He went to bat, put in a referral for Rand (AGAIN!) and I'm going to watch that puppy like a hawk! I better receive a scheduling call early next week or else "the wife" swings into action!

As to the referral back to Vallejo, there is confusion about that too. The neurologist told us that a patient can only be referred to Vallejo while they are in a hospital, a rehab center or skilled nursing facility, not from a home or assisted living center. I won't take no for answer, but have to wait while the powers that be contact the other powers that be. Rand needs it and I won't quit until he gets what he needs or I understand why. The saga continues. What on earth do people do who don't have an advocate or someone to go to bat for them? I've asked that question a million times and the answer is always too grim to face.

So, after two spectacular days, Randbo has returned to his normal situation. I so hope that "the good old days" of earlier this week return and soon. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to have Rand pain free day after day, smiling and in good spirits. It is also a relief to know that we don't have to return to see the doctors for six weeks and two months, respectively. In our lives, that is a blessedly looooooooog time between appointments.

For those of you on the "periodic update" list or who have not responded, this is your last email installment. Please visit www.rands-progess.blogspot.com for future updates. I will post them as the need and/or circumstances warrant - including woes and whoopies! Thanks for being with us all this time. Your support has meant the world to us.

Keep Rand close to your hearts, in your thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Connie

September 2, 2006
Day 216

Rand had a pain free day - whoopie! I wonder if it is the change the doctor made in one of his meds. Time will tell. We went for a walk this afternoon. It was another beautiful day. Today I bought Rand a ball to hold/squeeze between his knees to help strengthen the thigh and trunk muscles, I also got him a 2 lb. hand weight to help keep his left arm/hand strong as recommended by the doc. Today we practiced pushing the weight above his head, down along his leg, off to the left, close to his chest, as far to the right as he can lean, again and again. You might try these things with him when you visit. I have removed several of the activity packets as he has outgrown them. The writing materials, flash cards and puzzles are there waiting to be used, in the basket chest of drawers.

Yesterday I started cleaning gutters and boy, are my legs tired from going up and down the ladder! At 4:00 this morning, I woke up to the chirping of the smoke detector in the bedroom - high up in our impossibly high ceiling. I tried putting the pillow over my head and ignoring it but it didn't work. So, I dragged in the 8 foot ladder from the garage, climbed halfway to the stars with a "D" battery clenched between my teeth and fixed the !@#$%^&*()! thing! After I got back in bed I started laughing at the whole scene, plus my legs hurt more than ever! I figured that Rand would get a kick out of the story and the mental picture of me at 4:00 a.m. I told him the story this afternoon and he just looked at me. There was no understanding of a smoke detector, ladder, battery, cleaning gutters - nothing registered. He is in touch with his immediate world, but nothing else. His memory is so poor that he couldn't relate to those things he did so many times and he can't picture a scenario nor see the humor in it. Another lesson learned. One of these days my heart will understand what my brain knows.

Tomorrow we are going to visit some friends for a little while. It will be good for Rand to get out and about. Keep him close and in your thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Connie
September 3, 2006
Day 217

Rand had such a nice day today. Not only was it pain-free, but we spent the afternoon with friends at their house so Rand got out and about with a great change of scenery. We sat in their backyard and he had a glass of wine and scarfed down chips and salsa like mad - with a few macadamia nuts thrown in. He was teary when I left at dinner time. I wish I knew why, what causes that reaction some days and not others. It has been a long time since he was like that. I drove the long way to their house and read funny/clever bumper stickers, license plate frames and personalized license plates to him on the way. None of it registered or made any sense to him. Yet, he pointed out where I should turn, if my blinker was on longer than he liked - he's a real backseat driver! The brain is so amazing and confounding. I thought I knew Rand like the back of my hand, yet there are things about him now that are brand new. There will be new things tomorrow, too, and the day after and that day after that. His ability to transfer has improved so much. Now he does most of the work and I guide him. It makes going places so much easier. I can handle him alone, with out fear, if I have to. Now he is a one+ person transfer rather than 2-3 person.

It is so far so good in the coumadin department. Rand has been on it again for 10 days and he has had no adverse reaction to the drug. His blood has been very slow to thin out this time, however. In the past, he has reacted quickly (and poorly) to coumadin, but this time it is the opposite. I shouldn't complain considering what he has gone through with this drug in the last two months or so. I hope that his blood test on Wednesday will show a huge improvement. The neurologist took him off the other two blood thinners last Friday, so that may explain part of the slow reaction. Keep your fingers crossed.

We have a big week ahead of us with several outings planned - and none involve doctors!! YEA!! Below is a picture I took this afternoon when we returned from our adventure. Rand's as sweet and handsome as ever.

Keep Rand close and in your hearts and prayers.

Love,
Connie

September 4, 2006
Day 218

Rand and I had a nice, quiet, peaceful afternoon in the park. He remains pain free even after his therapy sessions. Thuan, the CNA that works with him six days a week, is doing wonders. Rand is much more in control of himself, stronger and doing more all the time. Now I hope that I can get that kind of support for his speech therapy!

Following his Thuan session, I took Rand on a walk to Almaden Lake Park. We parked ourselves on a bench near the lake, watched the paddle boats, swimmers, volleyball players and picnicers. Rand had a beer and lots of beer nuts and we enjoyed the wonderful weather, birds and activity. We returned to his home shortly before dinner. Rand was teary again when I left - I think the frustration of not being able to make himself understood is taking a toll again. Usually he brushes it off with a laugh or is very quiet, but he wants to be understood in the worst way. I would do anything to make that happen. The speech people better call this week or it could get ugly!

Tomorrow will be another quiet day with friends coming by for a visit. Quiet days are nice. We need them to recharge our batteries for what lies ahead. In fact, this whole week will be quiet and have fun activities now and again. Maybe we can even get in a nap together one afternoon. Nice.

Keep Rand close.

Love,
Connie

September 5, 2006
Day 219

Rand had another pain free day - YEA! He worked with Thuan, the CNA who reinforces PT skills with him, we went for a walk and a friend stopped by for a visit. Rand was in good spirits. I discovered that another resident, Abe, is also a Twizzlers nut just like Rand, so I got a big package of Twizzlers for Rand to present to Abe this afternoon. Good laughs resulted. Residents Jan and Jean, as well as Abe's wife, Dorothy, were swiping Twizzlers from Abe all afternoon!

Rand and I worked on color words today. Rand does not recognize colors and can not say their names. We went through all the basic colors with pictures and words - again and again at his insistence. I tried covering up the words as Rand tries to sound out the words inaccurately and it is just so confusing for him. He insisted that he see the words. When he correctly pronounced the color word over and over, I tried to get him to identify other things in the immediate area that were that color. His reaction was, "I don't know," even though there was a red envelope or a green tractor, or a red, white and blue flag right there on the table. Does he really not know, doesn't care, can't see the difference, can't identify the color, does it matter? I don't know. I wanted to move on to other things, but he insisted on staying with colors. We'll work on something else tomorrow.

Rand's writing is so much better now. I'm sure that part of it is just getting used to writing with his left hand and part is having more control and more awareness of his physical abilities. In early March, the speech therapist guided his hand to print, "I love you," in capital letters. He wrote it again last week with no guidance, copying and transferring to another piece of paper, which is a difficult skill. It is wonderful! I wish I had a scanner so I could show you the difference. I have both of them framed. They are a world apart. He is making progress and that is a major WHOOPIE!

Tomorrow I will take Rand to the bowling alley where he was a mover and shaker in the Los Gatos Bowling League for over 35 years. It is a practice day, not league bowling, so he can visit, enjoy the company and be the belle of the ball for awhile. It will be good for him to see familiar faces, smell old bowling socks, stale beer, and resin powder. I am anxious to see if any of the sights, sounds and smells register or bring back memories for him. When I told him of the trip, he just said, "OK." Full report tomorrow night.

Rand has a blood draw in the morning to check on his blood viscosity - to see if coumadin is doing the job. His blood should register between 2 and 3. Keep good thoughts that coumadin is at the proper level to gnaw away at that nasty DVT.

Keep him close.

Love,
Connie

September 6, 2006
Day 220

Randbo had another grand day. I went to his room unscheduled this morning and, unobserved, watched him doing his hand/arm exercises alone! It made my eyes sting - what it took for him to do that was unfathomable even a week ago. It means that he is taking the initiative to do the exercises, remembering what to do, how to do them, that they are important, and following through. Those are huge individual steps, far more than I ever hoped to see. He was sitting alone in his room in his wheelchair, his back to the door and using his left hand/arm to exercise his right hand/arm - bringing in above his head, from side to side, making circles in the air over and over. I'm so proud of him! I know that his progress is small by most standards, but for him, these strides are HUGE, astounding and amazing to me.

Nurse Rachett broke the spell by stumbling into the room to do a blood draw to check Rand's coumadin level (which is now 3.3). While I had her undivided attention, I started bleeding all over her about the lack of speech therapy as she's supposed to be the on-site coordinator of home services. She is such a wimp and can't find her fanny with both hands! She got flustered at my concern and made some calls to get "immediate action." So far - nothing, and that was 16 hours ago. I think I feel "the wife" coming on, and although I hate it, someone has to do it. Uff da. Wouldn't you think that the word would have spread by now?? While we wait for speech therapy to get its act together, I have ordered some materials that can be used to work with Rand on his speech issues. Anything is better than nothing while I do battle with the speech therapy folks. I have also contact SJSU speech and language department to see if I can hire a graduate student in that discipline to work with Rand on an ongoing basis.

I took Rand to the bowling alley this afternoon and the trip was a HIT! Rand was King of the HIll, welcomed, fussed over, hugged, kissed by everyone there. He soaked it all up, got a bit teary, and loved every minute of it! He had a beer, watched a friend bowl a 212, looked as handsome as always, smiled, laughed, had a wonderful time. We'll do it again.

I have given up on the plan to take 24 hours for myself and luxuriate in a spa, hotel, dinner, day of R and R. It just isn't in the cards. Instead I have booked an afternoon at a local spa for a facial, hot stone massage and leg/foot soak, massage, wrap thingy. The neighborhood spa was recommended by a friend. I'll come home, have some wine and probably fall asleep instantly! Works for me!!

The first sentence in the paragraph above sums it all up. I can't take any time for myself right now. In a way I'm glad that the "back to work" scenario is fuzzy at best and hope that it resurfaces later in the month or October. If I was called now, I'd have to decline as Rand's calendar is crammed full for the next few weeks. I have been able to protect Sept. 22, a planning day for Training of Trainers for principal training modules in SF. I will be on board for that and am looking forward to it.

Keep Rand close. Celebrate his increased awareness, commitment to getting better and his initiative. He is the sweetheart of the western world and he's becoming a self-starter to boot!

Love,
Connie

September 7, 2006
Day 221

Wheee - another stellar day for Randbo! He was on the go all day, being pushed mentally and physically and he didn't even flinch! This morning friends played Blackjack with him and then started on a Spider Man puzzle. Rand left the table, wheeled himself to the puzzle stash, got a new Spider Man puzzle and got their help to put that one together instead! (we'd already done the other one last week.) Dede and Paul are wonderful for him, talking Rand through categories, colors, shapes, numbers, getting him to sort, think ahead, self correct, all the things he needs. This afternoon, Theresa and Tom (and Lucy) paid a visit so Theresa could work with Rand on speech and cognition and Tom could model sounds, mouth shapes, etc. They are so good for him, too, and kept him hopping! More good stuff that he desperately needs. Then Thuan showed up and spent 90 minutes with Rand doing exercises, walking forward and backward, using weights, practicing washing his face and combing his hair - even more and more of what he needs! When that was over, I took Rand for a stroll around the long block. By 5:00 I thought he'd be very tired but I think he could have gone on and on! It is just amazing how much his stamina has improved.

I keep saying how much he has improved, and I know that the steps are tiny, but those small pieces make the big picture look so much brighter than just a month ago - even a week ago! Now Rand is wheeling himself to the dining table three times a day and has figured out the thresholds that were such a challenge. He stops as he nears a threshold, picks up speed and WHAM! he's over the obstacle like nothing! He can maneuver his wheelchair so well that he hardly hits anything on the right side any more and he can scoot around Abe's wheelchair, Dorothy's walker, other furniture, and place himself at the table perfectly all with no help. He's remembering more, recognizing more, making more connections every day. Those billions of nerve endings must be reconnecting like mad! Now, if I can only jog the speech and language people loose, we'd really be sailing!

Tomorrow morning we are taking the Outreach van to Los Gatos so Rand can get his hair cut in a real barbershop for the first time since January and then we are off to DMV to have a photo ID made. I have no idea what happened to Rand's driver's license or what I did with it - it just disappeared some months ago. So, we will be back to Rand's Room before lunch. Who knows what the afternoon may bring?

Keep Rand close to your hearts. Every day is a new adventure filled with surprising things! Please pay him a visit soon. I think you will be impressed with his progress, too.

Love,
Connie

September 8, 2006
Day 222

What a day this has been - so busy and filled with an emotional moment that has had me in or near tears all day.

When we take the Outreach Paratransit van, Rand's wheelchair, with him in it, is locked down with bolt contraptions into the floor of the van, plus he has seat belts and other safety items all holding him immobile and securely in place. I sit in a small seat way in the back of the van. Usually I say something to Rand as the van pulls out, just to reassure him as he can not see me. The vans are noisy, rattle-trappy and have lousy shock absorbers which make conversation impossible and kidney damage a real danger! For some reason, I didn't say anything to Rand this morning as we were starting on our trip to Los Gatos. Pretty soon I heard, "Connie? Connie?" I was stunned. It was Rand, head turned as far to the side as possible, checking to see if I was there and that all was well. This was the first time in 222 days that he has said my name. I responded that I was there. Tears have been welling up ever since, my nose running, my heart is alternately joyous and overwhelmed. He has said my name before with lots of prompting, coaching, mimicing, trial and error, but never out of need, never so clearly, never spontaneously or because he needed reassurance or help. He smiled when I responded and was quiet the rest of the trip. When we got to our destination, I hugged him and told him how important it was that he said my name for the first time. He was surprised and blew it off. I told him 50 times today how incredible that made me feel. He wiped away some of my tears and gave me a kiss.

That little/huge incident has had me in an uproar all day. My stomach hurts, I cry, I want to fall asleep, to laugh out loud, I wonder if I'm falling apart. Is Rand really going to get better? Are my hopes, dreams, fantasies really going to come true? I'm so afraid to be so happy and to think of the possibilities. Right now I think I've hit a wall, run out of gas, need a break, need to absorb the last seven months. I need to reassess my expectations. I need to relax. Tonight I am going to bed early and I will get up tomorrow when I feel like it. I told Rand tonight that I wasn't feeling well and he was so sweet and sympathetic. He of all people understands how it is to feel crummy. He knows that I will be with him when I feel OK again.

Keep Rand close to your hearts and in your thoughts and prayers. Every day there is a new little miracle because of all of your support and concern for both of us. Thank you.

Love,
Connie

September 9, 2006
Day 223

This was a quiet day for Rand. I spent most of it at home creating spreadsheets, copying documents, printing financial statements, locating files and bills, creating narratives, in preparation for a marathon visit from our CPA tomorrow afternoon. He wants a history of every dime we have spent in the last many months so we can project ahead for short and long term financial needs. Uff da. I have never kept track of how much I spend on groceries, let alone what I have spent in the last seven months. Tomorrow's meeting could be a loooooooooonnnnng one!

This afternoon I took Rand for a ride - through McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone and then out to a local reservoir to watch water-skiers, jet skis, etc. He always enjoys that coupled with the fresh air off the water. Later this evening a friend came by and we spent some time with Rand before she and I went out for dinner. Two friends who have lost their husbands sort of "ganged up" on me tonight and had a serious talk about making time and a life for myself. I respect their opinions and especially their experience, but both went through something so different than what I am going through. They are telling me to stop saying, "I'll see you tomorrow," to Rand and to stop going to see him every day. They believe that he won't notice if I am there or not and they may be right. I still would feel so guilty knowing that I have a choice and choose not to go spend time with him. They are all over me about it, in a dear friend way, in a way that puts me first, in a way that says I have to start letting go. They are telling me to stop talking about leaving Rand for a day or two and start doing it. When I left Rand tonight I told him to sleep tight and that I would see him later. I was congratulated all over the place for putting it that way.

One friend suggested that I talk to the staff and tell them, but not Rand, that I will not be visiting the next day and ask them to monitor his reactions when I don't show up. Does he get anxious waiting for me? Does he not notice? Does he worry? Show no concern? Even know I'm AWOL? Next Saturday I have my spa-get-away afternoon so that would be the perfect day to take for myself. We'll see what happens.

Keep Rand close. He needs your good thoughts, prayers and company.

Love,
Connie

September 10, 2006
Day 224

I'm ready to celebrate but it is 10:30 p.m. - almost bedtime. The best I can do is a glass of wine and a small dish of "Cherry Garcia." Works for me!

I just spent another five hour marathon with our CPA figuring out finances for the short term and I feel sooooooooooooo much better! The long term financial plan will come in the next week or two, but right now, I'm so relieved that the next couple of years are at my fingertips. I understand how to access what I need to take care of Rand and I know that I don't have to "sell the farm" and/or drastically change my standard of living for the short haul. Thank you, Rand!! He did a masterful job with our financial planning over the years and it is paying off. Granted, I'm sure not going off on some exotic trips but I don't have to switch from Ben and Jerry's to Brand X either! I had barely covered my financial fanny for the month of September and was literally laying awake nights worrying about what I would do in October. No more worries. Problem resolved for now. WHEW!

The saga of "The Wife" has a new chapter. For those of you who tune in daily, you know that I have been banging my head against the Kaiser Speech and Language Therapy Wall and getting nowhere. Rand has had little or no ST for over two months. Yesterday in the mail, out of nowhere, without a How-Do-You-Do, comes an appointment "reminder" from Kaiser that Rand has a ST appointment on Wednesday, NOVEMBER 1!! Where did that come from??? That is still two months away and that time lapse is not acceptable. Tomorrow I am going to recruit a speech therapist who worked with Rand several months ago and was wonderful. I'm going to try to entice her to work with him privately a couple of times a week at whatever fee she charges, just to get him going again. He can't wait for two more months. Keep your fingers crossed that Kelli will agree and be able to do this. I can't think beyond her as I don't know where else to go.

The day after Rand's stroke, the neurologist told me that all hospitals are required to notify DMV when they treat a patient for a stroke. The DMV immediately suspends that person's driver's license and they have to jump through major medical and DMV hoops to get it reinstated. Therefore, when I lost Rand's driver's license I assumed that we would just apply for an official photo ID. On Friday, the DMV clerk told me not to bother with the ID, just to apply for a duplicate license. I was dumbfounded and indicated as gently as I could that Rand was not able to drive. The clerk said that wasn't a problem, just get a duplicate and when his license expires in 2010 then get a photo ID. YIKES - can you imagine how many people with strokes lesser than and up to the severity of Rand's are out there legally driving? Scares me to death!

Rand and I spent only a short time together today as I was so busy getting ready for the CPA's visit, but he was doing well. The terrible pain episodes have stopped, thanks to the change in meds. Tomorrow we are off to his first hand therapy appointment and the CNA is going along to learn the techniques to use with Rand the rest of the week. I am so grateful for Thuan, he is wonderful.

Keep Rand close. Every day things seem a bit better than the day before.

Love, Connie



September 11, 2006
Day 225

Another day, another problem solved! This morning I called the speech therapist at Vasona Creek Rehab facility who worked with Rand when he first came out of the hospital last February. Kelli helped Rand relearn how to swallow, she taught him to count to 10, to recite the days of the week, to sing, to repeat simple phrases and rhymes. She reawakened his cognitive abilities and started him on the long, long road that lay ahead. She and Rand worked so well together and she readily agreed to work with him again starting tomorrow!!! WHOOPIE!! She was excited to hear about Rand as she thinks of him often, wondering what ever happened to him. She has not seen him since March 27, the day he left for Vallejo Rehab Hospital. We are still working out the details, but it looks like she will work with him three evenings a week until Nov. 1. When the Kaiser speech therapist kicks in, Kelli will pull back to two days a week, so Rand will still be getting three days of ST every week. What a relief, what encouragement! I'm so excited! Kelli spends 90% of her speech therapy time with stroke patients at Vasona Creek so her experience is extensive. The amazing thing is that if this had happened just a day or so ago, I couldn't have made the arrangements because I was so unsure of the finances involved. Now we have clear sailing! Obviously, regular assessment will determine how extensive the therapy will be, but at least it has started. Rand agrees that ST is the #1 priority and he says that he remembers Kelli. I'm sure he will once he sees her again. I'm soooooooooooo happy and relieved!

Rand had a good session with an out-patient OT today, working on his paralyzed right hand/arm. The OT gently but firmly pushed his upper arm bone back into the shoulder socket, adjusted the scapula and was able to maneuver his arm in ways it has not moved in months. There was plenty of pain as she experimented with various movements, and Thuan was there, being trained in the same techniques. Rand was a trooper and cooperated all he could. He knows how important therapy is, even though it is painful, time consuming and he'd much rather be watching the Twins and Vikings win!! More therapy comes up later in the week and it will go on and on and on.

Keep Rand close - keep good thoughts and prayers for his improved speech/communication skills, awareness, the cognitive connections that will improve the quality of his life.

Love,
Connie

September 12, 2006
Day 226

Tonight, Rand recognized Kellie, the speech therapist, the instant she walked into the room! He was so happy to see her again. After an initial assessment, she was impressed with how much progress he has made since she saw him at the end of March. At that time he was scoring 80% on yes/no questions and today it was 100%. In March, when she wrote random numbers scattered all over a paper, Rand couldn't pick them out. Today he got 100%. She will be working with him three evenings a week starting on Thursday. I'm delighted but Rand got teary. I know that is the stroke, but I still am bothered when he cries as I don't know what it means. Happy? Sad? Relieved? All of the above?

I didn't go to see Rand today until shortly before Kellie arrived. It is the latest and shortest time I have spent with him in almost eight months. I am trying to cut down my time with him for both of our sakes. Today I had breakfast with a friend, did some quick shopping, cleaned out a closet, tore out old flowers and replanted new ones in a couple of pots, tried again to reprogram the irrigation timer, "supervised" the cleaning of some carpets, tried to figure out the psi of our tires, now that the "underinflation" light is on, made phone calls, dealt with email, all the usual stuff that eats time. The unfinished gutter cleaning is still staring at me - I must get that done.

In other words, it was another typical day for Rand and me. Tomorrow we will go for a long walk as he didn't get outside at all today.

Keep Rand close and your fingers crossed for his improved speech. I have high hopes - maybe pie-in-the-sky hopes, that he will be able to communicate at some level again.

Love, Connie

September 13, 2006
Day 227

This will be short and sweet as this has been a lousy day - for me, not for Rand. Rand and I always shared the jobs around the house, the chores, the "have to's, the gotta's" and now all of it is falling on me and and I'm feeling overwhelmed. There is not one big thing that is sinking the ship, just a few dozen holes that I can't keep plugged all at the same time. This too shall pass and I will get caught up. As a friend said, none of it is life threatening, no one died or got hurt, I just need to keep chipping away. Things will look better tomorrow.

Rand had another good day. His pain spasms have returned, but they are not as frequent nor as intense. Still, I will email his doctor to see what can be done. Tomorrow we visit the PT for another session and I will be training Thuan on how to deal with the Outreach van and Kaiser check in process. From now on, Thuan will be taking Rand to his OT and PT sessions without me so I need to make sure all the ducks are in a row.

Keep Rand close to your hearts.

Love,
Connie

September 14, 2006
Day 228

Rand's schedule is so busy these days that I have resorted to printing out his calendar of appointments every week and then revising it several times to keep it current. Copies go to the caregivers, to the CNA, to Rand and to me.

Every week Rand has out-patient physical and occupational therapies, speech therapy, doctor's appointments, and miscellaneous appointments like his leg brace fitting coming up on Monday, blood draws, etc. All of his therapists are wonderful and they are pushing him hard every week. Thuan, the CNA that works with Rand six days a week, gets his training from the OT and PT sessions and then reinforces those skills with Rand. He is also taking Rand to the out-patient sessions each week which is a huge help to me. This afternoon, the PT had Rand strapped into a chest harness contraption, attached to an overhead crossbar and "walking" on a tread mill! He needs a lot of help moving his right leg, but she says that the spinal cord "memory" is very important in relearning to walk. After a few weeks of the treadmill, she hopes to see considerable progress in his balance, ability to move his right hip, leg and foot. Go, Randbo, go!!

After weeks and weeks of searching, I finally connected with the speech therapist who worked with Rand right after his stroke. She helped him relearn how to swallow, got his cognitive skills reawakened and started him on the long, long road that lay ahead. Kellie and Rand had a great working relationship and I am delighted that she is available to work with him again. She will spend three evenings a week with Rand, starting tonight. No, he won't be too tired, as it is an early evening hour and tiring Rand out is tough to do! All of this help and support comes at a time when Rand is making connections, making progress, talking a blue streak (not necessarily understandable speech), humming along to music on the car radio or to himself, and showing all the signs of being ready to make a big jump in his learning curve.

To give you an idea of Rand's awareness, humor and hospitality, I am including an email from a friend who sees him at least twice a week and was with him this afternoon:

"Went over to see Rand today and Susie and Donna were visiting. Rand was very animated, in a great mood and tried to talk more than I have seen before. At one point Susie asked Rand if they served him any wine here. He thought for a moment and then nodded and Susie said, "Gee, that's great you, can get some wine here." (or words to that effect). Rand got this real determined look in his face, unlocked the wheels to the wheelchair and turned around and headed off to the kitchen area. We all looked at each other wondering what was going on. A few moments later Manny (caregiver) wheeled him back into the room and said Rand just held up four fingers and said "Four wines." That's Coach, always the good host! "

What a hoot that was! Susie also called to tell the story. Can you hear the progress???

This Sunday is the Almaden Art and Wine Festival at Almaden Lake Park. Rand and I have walked to the festival every year and this year we will be there too. It is a short distance from Rand's Room and it will be a nice outing for both of us.

Keep Rand close. His learning curve is straight up at this time and I'm pouring every resource into him that I can get my hands on. He's ready to learn, more aware of his needs and a willing subject. Wheeeee - hold him close!

Love,
Connie

September 15, 2006
Day 229

This has been a week of woes and whoopies. Most of the whoopies have been centered around Rand. He has made steady progress on all fronts, his therapies are going so well, the coumadin is doing the job with no side effects and he is doing beautifully. For that I am thankful. I have had to cut back on my time with him, more than I had planned, but he is handling it well. For that I am doubly grateful.

The woes have centered around me and Murphy's Law. In that respect this has been an miserable week. Everything that could go wrong, has. Wells Fargo Bank screwed up royally and I am on the brink of writing them a letter with a high-pitched character analysis and moving our accounts to another financial institution. The tires on the car were a major headache that should not have taken days to resolve and should NOT have cost me $2.50 in AIR, for Pete's sake!! The carpet cleaning guy was 2.5 hours late with no apologies and he didn't even get out the major stain in the rug. The gardeners started pruning but quit because I wasn't home and they couldn't make a decision. The local charity didn't pick up my bags and bags of contributions for two days after they were supposed to arrive, the grocery store didn't have the fresh dill I needed. Three quarters of the outside lights are not working and the irrigation system is flooding the flower pots every day so I have to turn it off and on manually. Yesterday I received a letter from the doctor saying that I have sleep apnia and will soon be sleeping with a machine! Uff da. Today, the crowning glory was our super-duper Thermador oven. I made a pear bread to take to our new neighbors to welcome them to Jeremie Drive. About an hour into the baking time I checked on it and discovered that the batter was flowing all over the oven because the whole thing had quit! Of course, the warranty was good for five years and we are now in our sixth year. The piece that burned out will be replaced in two weeks at an outrageous cost. In the meantime - no oven. I could go on and on. This business of taking care of a house alone and being alone is the pits!

So much for those woes. I did have some whoopies, also. Our dear neighbor came over, set up the ladder and finished cleaning out our gutters! As it turned out, I had cleaned out the worst sections and what was left was a piece of cake. I feel so much better that all is well on that front. I think I will let the rains do the rest of the job, which mainly involves dirt in the gutters, as Rick removed the remaining leaves and debris. I bowled well on opening night of the league, above my average. Our other neighbor and good friend sold her house yesterday and will be moving in 30 days. I'm happy for her but so sad at losing her closeness. She also found out that her hip problem is "simple arthritis" and not another hip replacement as she had feared. More good news. Another friend has been so loyal in working with Rand on his speech every week. She reported such good progress yesterday, said that Rand worked hard, was fun and thoughtful as always. Other friends who visited thoroughly enjoyed their time with Rand and talked about how good he looks, how responsive and funny he was. Still another friend brought him homemade peanut brittle, toffee, played cards with him and totally enjoyed their time together. Tonight a friend and I went to a movie and out for dinner. I haven't done that in eight months. As I write this, I realize how petty my gripes are and I must learn to keep things in perspective. I'm a work in progress in that area - BIG TIME!

Other than that, life is good. Tomorrow I have an afternoon at the spa and I think I'm over due. I'll tell you all about the hot rock massage and other details. Sunday we go to the Art and Wine Festival. Fall is in the air - the evenings are cool and crisp and our days in shorts and shirt sleeves are numbered. It feels good to have a change of season.

Keep Rand close. His learning curve is high, as are his spirits.

Love,
Connie

September 16, 2006
Day 230

This morning I made one of Rand's favorite soups and a loaf of his favorite bread and took it to him for lunch. We had lunch in his room by the big window and watched the world go by. My goodness, you'd think he hadn't eaten in a month! He cleaned every dish in sight, drank a big glass of milk and polished it off with chocolate pudding with whipped cream. After that we went for a long walk and then he was ready for a nap. The timing was right as I had to leave for my afternoon at the spa. Rand was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as usual and had a good day.

The spa time was so wonderful I can't even tell you! The facial was to die for, the hot stone massage was heaven and the leg/foot treatment should be required every week! I have got to do that routine more than once every twenty years!! I found myself dozing off during the facial, of all things, not during the massage. Go figure. I can't wait to schedule another session or two.

The materials I ordered for Rand's speech practice have arrived and I am impressed. Two of the three books are perfect right now and the third one will be appropriate down the line. I'm putting the books in the wicker drawer cabinet so just pick one up and use it with Rand when you visit. I will keep the more difficult one at home for the time being. The instructions are simple, the materials are easy to use and Rand really needs the skills that are reinforced in the books. This afternoon we started another 100 piece puzzle and got the edges all done before I left. It will be interesting to see how much he does by tomorrow, although, I think caregiver Manny likes to do them also, so he and Rand work on them together.

Tomorrow afternoon we are walking over to Almaden Lake Park for the Art and Wine Festival. We always see friends and neighbors at this annual event, so it will be a fun outing for both of us.

Keep Rand close. He is doing so well. Schedule a massage for yourself - it is grand!!!

Love,
Connie

September 17, 2006
Day 231

How fast the days go by. I can't believe that it has been 231 days since Rand and I were living together and going about our usual Saturday morning routine.

This afternoon we walked over to Almaden Lake Park for the Art and Wine Festival. The temp was in the high 80's, there was little shade and lots of people which made it seem hotter. The worst part was the fact that the festival layout is totally unfriendly to wheelchairs. The whole thing is on and around sloping grass. Pushing a 170 pound man in a 50 pound wheelchair over soft grass just about did me in. I finally had to push Rand back to the sidewalk and found a place in the shade where he could sit and sip his wine while I rested on a bench. Whew! That location and the entire sidewalk were on the back side of all the booths and displays which is not enjoyable. I made a few forays alone, got a couple of doo-dads and we walked home. There was another whole section that we couldn't get to because of a huge electrical barrier across the sidewalk. I just couldn't lift the wheelchair over the barrier. No problem, just frustrating. We saw some friends and neighbors and enjoyed the outing despite the barriers. I don't think I can do that again next year. When we got back to Rand's Room,
he was ready for a nap after working on the King Kong puzzle for a bit.

Tomorrow Rand gets his new leg brace! I hope that will add to his upward learning curve by providing more stability, balance, and security during OT and PT.

Keep Rand close. He is the most patient, loving, thoughtful person around.


September 18, 2006
Day 232

The other day I think I told you about an incident with three friends that were visiting Rand. They asked him if wine was served with meals, Rand indicated that they were, went out to the kitchen and ordered four glasses of wine to be delivered to his room. The next day I asked him about the incident and he remembered it clearly. I told him that this was not a restaurant/bar where he could order wine. He was shocked. He fully expected that wine would be served. His actions were not a joke - he truly believed that wine would be delivered to the table in his room. The fact that nothing happened was not a concern to him. Yesterday Rand "told" me that he had dreamed that he was driving. He was laughing as he told about it because in his eyes the whole notion was as crazy as flying to the moon. I told him that he used to drive all the time. He was shocked again. He couldn't believe that he had ever driven a car. I told him that he used to drive all over the place, including many trips to and from Minnesota. He was dumbfounded. These two incidents confuse me as much as they confuse Rand. What does he know and understand? How many of my assumptions about his awareness are wrong? Where is his reality? I would give anything to know what he knows, to know what is going on in his brain.

This afternoon we had quite a wait to see the orthodics specialist to fit his new leg/foot brace. During that wait we slowly recited the Pledge of Allegiance, the Preamble to the Constitution, the Gettysbury Address and quotes by famous Americans. Rand was right there with me, watching my mouth, saying the words as they came to him. It was so obvious that he knew exactly what I was reciting and he struggled so hard to say the right words that he knows so well. We sang "America the Beautiful," "The Stars Spangled Banner," recited nursery rhymes, completed sentences with words that began with the letter "D", anything and everything I could think of. Rand was so intent on being "with me," participating in my efforts, learning, relearning words and phrases, that I almost cried. He never gave up in frustration, he hung on every sound and word. At one point he carefully, thoughtfully and slowly said, "What is road of the lime?" I repeated it back to him and he nodded, that's what he meant. I said that I didn't know the answer and asked if he could say it another time or way. He shrugged and said that he didn't know either. I suggested that he hold that thought for Kellie when she came later this afternoon. He brightened and said. "OK."

This morning Rand finished the King Kong puzzle all by himself!! That is huge! I'm so proud of his progress. Two weeks ago he couldn't do that. We'll start another puzzle later in the week. He is now turning himself in bed and doesn't need the staff to turned him every two hours during the night. That just started in the last few days. That is more huge/huger!

And so it goes. Another day, more learning opportunities, more pieces of confusing information, yet Rand remains the sweetheart of the western hemisphere! Keep him close in your thoughts and prayers.


September 19, 2006
Day 233

The other day I misnumbered the days again - XXQZMMOI (as a friend's license plate reads!)

All is well. Rand had another good day, walking, exercising, working on his vocabulary. Kellie, the ST, has a virus so she couldn't be there today, but Rand and I did some work together. Tomorrow he and Thuan make their first trip together for out-patient PT and OT. I sure hope that goes well, the Outreach van shows up on time, etc. Having Thuan go with him is a lifesaver for me.

There's nothing else to report. I love these stress free days!

Keep Rand close to your heart - every day is another chance for him to become stronger, more verbal, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

September 20, 2006
Day 234

Boy, this is going to be short! I saw Rand for a few minutes this morning before he and Thuan left for therapy. I shaved him and combed his hair and then I was gone. Moments later, he was gone. I didn't get back over there tonight so my report is that all is well.

I will be with Rand tomorrow morning for a short time, then I have financial stuff to deal with and my afternoon is full. Friday I will be in SF all day so I won't be spending much time with Rand until Saturday. Our CPA is arriving at 3:30 Sat. afternoon, so once again I will be up to my ears. Right now I don't have enough hours in the days to deal with all the things that are coming my way.

Keep Rand close - he is doing well, he is getting therapy out his ears. I hope he isn't lonesome. I keep telling myself that this forced time away is good for both of us. Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

September 21, 2006
Day 235

This epistle is beginning to sound like a broken record - "another good day for Randbo!" What a relief it is to be able to say that week after week. When I arrived this afternoon Thuan and Manny were working with Rand and he was standing at the dresser alone! Then he was able to lift his left knee up and down repeatedly - a first! His balance is getting so much better. Kellie was pleased with their speech session tonight, too. Afterwards, Rand struggled and struggled to talk to me about many things, to ask questions, to explain one thing after the other and I couldn't understand him. He finally laughed it all off. I said, "You are so cute and handsome!" and Rand replied, "I know!" I hooted and Rand laughed too.

Tomorrow a friend and I will be in SF all day at a work related training. I'm very glad that this project is going slowly as my plate is full once again. I am up to my ears in finances and I have another session with our CPA on Saturday - which always results in more homework. Three friends will be visiting Rand tomorrow in my absence. Rand and I will have several hours together on Saturday, then another friend is coming to work with him on Sunday afternoon. Do we have the best friends in the world or what??

I have to be up at the crack tomorrow so am hitting the sack early tonight. I'm anxious to see how I react to the training tomorrow. Will it be like riding a bike again? A foreign language? Something I feel good about? Something I dread? It will be interesting.

Keep Randbo close. He is so cute and handsome!

September 22, 2006
Day 236

Today I didn't see Rand at all as I was in SF all day, but I did talk to him on the phone for the first time since he was in Vallejo in April. This time we had a REAL CONVERSATION! I was so excited! I called the board and care home and one of the caregivers took the cordless phone to Rand and we talked - really talked. He said that he missed me, tried to tell me about his day, understood and responded to everything I said. He said an appropriate hello and goodbye, laughed about some comments and I was thrilled! What a contrast to the last phone call five months ago! The phone call memories kept me going through some rather boring stuff this afternoon. Whoopie!

I found out today that I will be doing four principal training modules in the next six months, which suits me just fine. I've got a lot of stuff on my plate right now, so I feel good about having a handle on the training calendar. Who knows what else may come along that will also fit into our schedule?

Rand and I have another busy week ahead so tomorrow we are going to relax, go for a long walk, maybe even a ride and an ice cream cone. Who knows what wild and crazy things might happen??

Keep Rand close to your hearts. He is making progress every day!

September 23, 2006
Day 237

Today I hope I picked the last of the cucumbers - enough already! I pulled out some faded summer flowers and planted new ones for the fall and winter. I took Rand a beer this afternoon and we went for a long walk. He is trying to talk a blue streak. Friends worked with him yesterday on speech and another friend brought over a bottle of wine and they split it! Where was I??

Our CPA spent another four hours with me tonight going over our projected finances for the next few years and we started rearranging some things. The taxes for 2006 are going to be horrendous - I'll be writing checks to the tax gnomes for more than a year's cost of Rand's care! Uff da. I just can't believe it. Things should settle down in 2007.

Rand has another busy week ahead - therapy, measurements for a new wheelchair, a visit from the barbershop quartet, blood draws, visits from friends, and who knows what else may pop up. His wonderful attitude continues to shine through, he is a little more independent every day, is healthy and getting stronger. He raises the head of his adjustable bed at night so he can watch TV, he sleeps well, eats well, and looks forward to visits from friends.
Keep him close to your hearts and in your prayers. Do let me know when you can stop by for a visit. Rand would love to see you.

September 24, 2006
Day 238

5:00 p.m.
Below is a recent photo taken of the five residents and three of the four caregivers at Rand's Room (missing from the photo is Manny, Rand's primary caregiver). Dorothy made a pineapple upside down cake and they had all eaten it and were happy as clams! They are such a nice group of people, friendly and caring - both residents and staff. Rand and I are so lucky to have found such a wonderful place for him to call home.


Front row: Abe and Dorothy, Jean, Jan, Daisy, Rand. Second row: Renee and Jordan

This afternoon a friend came to do some assessments with Rand in preparation for starting a neuro-art therapy program with him. He surprised all of us with his cognitive abilities. It will be very exciting to see what comes of it.



9:00 p.m.

A couple of hours ago I was cleaning out some files and came across one that Rand had tucked away just before his stroke. In it were two Valentine cards for me, the beginnings of my birthday present and of an anniversary present for me. I was stunned. I was shocked and saddened beyond belief. I passed Valentine's Day with cards and goodies for Rand, spent my birthday trying not to think about birthdays past, and I made the best of our anniversary, knowing that Rand did not recognize any of the dates. He had been planning for those events last January. I've been teary since I found the folder and I'm still crying. It was like a kick in the stomach. I want Rand back so much I don't know what to do. I wonder if I should show him what he started. I wonder if he would recognize the tender words, sweet sentiments that he wrote nine months ago. It matters so much to me, would it matter to him? Would he understand? Would it tear him apart too? I guess I need to finish my cry, sleep on it and then make a decision.


Keep Rand close. You and he will never know how much I miss him.

September 25, 2006
Day 239

Today I told Rand about the "presents" I had found that he had started last January. He laughed because he thought it was so funny that he couldn't remember anything about them. I was teary telling him about them and I said that it was so sweet of him to do that. He said. "I know," and laughed some more. I asked if he wanted me to bring them in so he could see them and he might remember. He shrugged his shoulders and said no. I told him that there were so many things I wish he could remember. He just laughed and went on to other things. I'm glad that he is so content, satisfied and happy with his situation and I wish I felt the same about mine. I wonder if I will ever be that at ease with my life again.

This afternoon I took him for a ride. We went through the MacDonald's drive-thru and got ice cream cones and then drove to Los Gatos. We went through the parking lot of Fisher Middle School and Rand said that he remembered it. We drove through downtown and he said he remembered that too. We took Shannon Road back home and he said it was familiar. We got back shortly before dinner and he was happy to be home again. When I leave him near dinner time, it is always easy for him to say goodbye. It is tough when I leave in mid-afternoon.

Keep Rand close - he has settled in comfortably, is doing so well and is truly at home.

September 26 ,2006
Day 240

On July 14, Bastille Day, Rand returned to his new home again after bring in the hospital and a nursing home for seven more weeks. That was about 10 weeks ago. The progress he has made in those ten weeks is just astounding. Having two and a half months to get strong and healthy, with therapy, has worked wonders. He had several trips to the ER during these ten weeks, but nothing that set him back like the previous crises. Yesterday when we transferred Rand from his wheelchair into the car, for the first time he didn't need the safety belt around his chest. He got up out of the wheelchair by himself, needed help to pivot and turn, but then got himself settled in the seat, buckled his seat belt and was ready to go! Manny and I assisted with his right leg and protected his right arm, but otherwise Rand transferred himself. Ten weeks ago that process took three adults to do and Rand couldn't help much at all, in fact, he was pretty much dead weight.

On Sunday when our neuro-art therapy friend asked him to draw a house, not only did he do it, he drew it in 3-D, with perspective and all! It was a very sophisticated house. She asked Rand to draw a continuous spiraling figure 8 without lifting the pencil from the paper. He did it. That is a tough assignment that takes understanding, coordination, visualization, comprehension - and he did it! WOW - his cognition is way beyond where it was two months ago.

Today Rand was measured for his new super-duper, custom-made wheelchair. Two wheelchair experts were there using techno-speak, which I had to constantly question so I understood. Rand zoned out. He did perk up when it came time to select the color, however! He chose a metallic red as the accent color for the basically black chair. We talked about adding some hotshot Americana decals like he had on his last red truck and he seemed pleased with the idea. The wheelchair will be ready about the first week in November. The experts also helped me select a transport chair so Rand and I can run crazy around the area minus the 50-60 pounder he lives in and without the constraints of Outreach, the mass transit vehicles for wheelchair residents. Rand also selected red as the accent color for a basic black chair. That should be here by the end of the week! I'm excited! It only weighs 22 pounds so I can sling that thing around like nobody's business! Look out world, here we come!!

The barbershop quartet will rehearse at Rand's Room again tomorrow and he is really looking forward to that. It is such a good time for everyone.

Keep Rand close. I can't wait to see him tooling around in his new chair, which will be soooooooooooo much better than the one he's been using since late April. Look out world - here he comes!

September 27, 2006
Day 241

Oh, my - I have a major correction to make. The other day I said that when a friend had visited Rand I was surprised to see her entry in the guest book, where she had written "Rand and I went through a bottle of wine." I assumed that she meant that they drank a bottle wine together and I was amazed. Well, she meant that she had worked with Rand on pages in a book of sentence completion exercises through one that said "a bottle of ____." Rand always put in the word "wine." She took Rand through the pages several times, always through "a bottle of ____," then stopped. That's what she meant. WHEW! She and Rand didn't get tipsy on grape juice but she and I had a good laugh over the miscommunication!

The barbershop quartet was a hit again this morning. They sang their hearts out for over half an hour and Rand joined in more than last time. Today he hummed along with the baritone line a lot and I think his voice was stronger than before. He hummed when the words failed him but it was obvious that he loved every minute of it. What a gracious group of guys to "rehearse" with Rand frequently.

Tomorrow morning we go to physical therapy and have a blood draw. The rest of the day will be quiet until the speech therapist arrives after supper.

Keep Rand close. He is happy, content and secure in his surroundings.

September 28, 2006
Day 242

This has been an amazing day. A truly amazing day. I'll give it to you in a nutshell - but I still get shivers when I think about it.

This morning Rand had an appointment with the physical therapist from 11:00 a.m. to noon. As usual, we took the paratransit van known as Outreach. Rand had a great PT session. He is strapped into a huge harness, he hangs by a crossbar on a moveable contraption that holds him upright on the treadmill. Three weeks ago he was able to "walk", with great assistance with his right leg, on a treadmill for two minutes at a 0% grade, at 0.6 mph. Today, he was "walking" with the same amount of assistance and at the same speed, but at a 2% grade for 11 minutes! He didn't tire but Thuan and the PT were worn out! He did so well. He was happy and I was so proud of him! The PT is trying to get his brain to "wake up" to the fact that he has a right side, a right leg that can support him and be useful. It is coming, slowly, slowly, but it is coming.

After the PT session, Rand, Thuan and I waited for the van to pick us up as usual. To make a long, frustrating story short, we waited 2.5 hours, got one lame excuse after the other from Outreach and still were not picked up. Rand was so patient, sitting in his wheelchair since 10:00 a.m., Thuan was late for his next job and I was at my wits end, my patience long gone. I was snarly, mean and angry. Finally, I went to the info booth and asked the nice man to call us a cab. As he was doing that, someone tapped me on the shoulder. A lady said, "I can tell that you need help. I am here to help you." She said that she was going home via Coleman Ave, and would that route help me out. I was flabbergasted as that is exactly where we needed to go. She brought her van around, we loaded Rand, the wheelchair, Thuan and myself into it and away we went with a total stranger.

En-route I asked her how she knew that we needed help. She said, "God told me," and kept on driving. She asked about Rand's life and I told her of his career at Fisher Middle School. She said that she had done her student teaching there many years ago, under the expert eye of the school librarian - our good friend Jeanette! She dropped us off at Rand's Room, gave each of us a hug and a kiss and drove away. In my discombobulation, frustration and near-tears, all I got was her first name, Kay. Her husband's office is near a grocery store close to us, so I am going scouting tomorrow to find that place and her. She refused all payment for gas, contributions, etc. She was truly a God-send and an angel. She disappeared from our lives as quickly as she appeared. I so hope I can locate her again. Maybe there really are angels on Earth. If so, Kay must be in charge of them!

Keep Rand close. He had a long day and is tucked safe and sound in bed tonight.

September 29, 2006
Day 243

Rand's transport chair arrived today! It is neat, light-weight, folds up in a snap and I can lift it into the back of the SUV with no problem! I'm trying to think of somewhere we can go tomorrow to give it a workout. Today a friend and I wheeled Rand around the house and the neighborhood to see how it worked. It is nifty! The wheelchair folks told me that these are considered disposable and it will last two years tops. I give it a much longer life than that - we'll see. His real, new super-duper chair will arrive about Nov. 1.

There was nothing much new today. The front yard of Rand's Room is torn up as they are re-landscaping the place - new sprinkler system, new lawn and plants. Whew - it was looking pretty bad. While Rand was watching the workers digging trenches for the irrigation system, he said, "I wonder if - tractor." I was thrilled! He would be so happy if a red tractor/rototiller showed up in the front yard and his comment expressed his thinking. That's progress!

Rand's blood viscosity and thickness are being monitored by the Anti-coagulation/Coumadin Clinic on a regular basis. He had so many problems at first but they have settled down and he is doing just fine with the med. He is not having any more allergic reactions or hemorrhages related to coumadin. That puppy ought to be chewing away at the DVT as we speak. One of these months they will do another ultra-sound to see if the DVT is getting any smaller. Until then, it is full steam ahead!

Earlier this week, my uncle passed away. I will be flying to So. Calif. on Sunday, attending the funeral on Monday and returning home on Tuesday. Uncle Kenny was always so much fun, I looked up to him and was thrilled when he was around. It will be good, despite the circumstances, to see my cousins again and get reacquainted with their children who have somehow grown up over the years. Rand says that he understands my absence.

Keep him close. Our outing tomorrow will have to sustain us both for a few days.

September 30, 2006
Day 244

I finally found her - Kay, the angel who rescued us from the phantom Outreach van the other day! At least I found her husband's office and will deliver flowers to her via him on Wednesday when I return. It took some sleuthing, but it paid off. Whew - that makes me feel so much better!

Rand and I had another opplevelse/adventure today. I decided to take him to a nearby mall in his new transport chair and see how it went. The place was hopping as you would expect on a Saturday afternoon. We parked on the third floor of the garage and went about our merry way. We had pizza and watched the teenaged Mall Rats in action, plus some very bizarre older folks who could have been their parents! The transport chair is a breeze to operate. It is so slim, maneuverable, handy - I love it! Rand was getting "bun-itise" as it is not as comfortable as the big chair. We went to Target for some odds and ends and then headed back to the car. Lo and behold, all the elevators were out of order! There was no way to get back to the third floor of the garage. After 30 minutes of searching, asking questions, requesting help, I found a disinterested man who called security. The nice security man said that he would take Rand up to the car in his truck. Whew - progress! I had to climb the stairs to the third floor and the two of them were waiting for me. I finally got Rand back home over an hour late. Uff da. We have now had two outings in the last three days, both were doomed but delightful people rescued us. I think it is a good thing that I will be gone for a few days - it will keep Rand out of trouble!

The inevitable has started to happen - Rand's best friends are now his caregivers and he is so happy to see them when we return from a walk or an outing. They laugh together, have their "in" jokes, and he is so chatty and relaxed around them. I am no longer the primary person in his life. I figured that would happen at some point but I didn't expect it so soon nor did I realize how I would react. Rand and I have always talked together, but today he hardly said a word to me. He hummed some unrecognizable notes as we went around the mall, didn't try to answer my questions, seemed bored and was delighted when we got back to his house. Of course, considering the fine messes I've gotten us into recently, I can hardly blame him! He became a different person when Manny came out to the car to help him inside. He beamed, talked, laughed, was animated in every way. It will be interesting to see if he notices when I am gone for three days and what kind of reaction I get when I return. I will be gone seven days in October - I guess the moral of the story is to be careful what you wish for as it might happen. I've always worried about Rand's reaction and well being when I went back to work. I guess there is nothing to worry about.

Keep Rand close to your hearts and in your prayers. The next epistle will be on October 4, or Day 249.