A good friend reminded me of Winston Churchill's famous quote: "When you are going through hell, just keep going." Wise man. That's what I've been trying to do and I'm feeling better. I still tear up when I think of living without Rand close to me or in the next room, but I'm on the long road to acceptance.
Today was bright and sunny, warmer and drier than yesterday, so Rand and I went on an opplevelse. I threw "Willie" in the back of the car and we took off for Los Gatos. We did some Christmas shopping and had a late lunch. Rand was a real trooper, in fact I think he enjoyed the shopping as much as I did. It is amazing how narrow the aisles are when Christmas stuff if out. It is very precarious pushing a wheelchair through most stores. We got back just in time for dinner but I think Rand was stuffed! This was his second time in a restaurant and he did very well. He is conscious of his food, drink, napkins, and careful not to spill, to wipe his mouth and clean his hand. He has made great progress in that area. Fitting the wheelchair arms under the table is still an issue, so he sits further away from the table than the rest of us, which causes some problems. He is now aware of that and is more careful. It is so nice to be able to go out together again. It will be awhile before we go out for a "real" dinner, due to the hour and other issues, but for now, this is perfect.
Last year Rand, my sister Annie, and I planned a cruise to the Mexican Riviera at Christmas this year. In spite of everything that has happened, Annie, some other friends and I are still going. It is about six weeks away and I'm getting excited - I have started my packing list. I have talked to Rand about it casually, reminded him of it, but I haven't put it on his calendar yet. That time will come in the next couple of weeks. I don't think he really understands. Over the last year, when I have stopped to think about the trip, I've always worried how Rand would be without me for over a week and frequently thought I should cancel. After this latest melt down, I am less and less worried. He will miss me, but he will be OK. I'll call him every day and our lives will go on.
Keep Rand close.
Love,
Connie
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