April, 2006

Rand’s Progress


April 1, 2006
Day 61

After one day, Rand and I are getting acquainted with the Kaiser Rehab hospital in Vallejo. The whole complex is HUGE! Everything about it is HUGE! The parking garages are huge and the distance to walk from one place to another is huge! Rand's room is huge and even though there are four men in it, each living space is huge compared to what we were used to. The rehab facilities are huge - like a major health club. Everything about the place says, "We're serious!" Rand was evaluated by OT/PT/ST today and his work is cut out for him starting Monday morning. His therapy begins at 9:00 a.m. and finishes about 4:30 p.m. He has dinner at 5:00 and I bet he will be sound asleep shortly thereafter! The OT/PT evaluations were painful for him as his muscles were screaming from little use. The therapists are bound and determined to reverse that trend. This evening Rand had dinner in the Solarium - a lovely dining room near his unit. This will be the first time in 10 weeks that he has not had a meal either in bed or sitting in a wheelchair next to his bed. Tonight he ate with other people at a table like he used to. I feel so good about that.

Tomorrow, Sunday, is his day of rest. Today we took a walk around outside, had a Coke and some chips in the cafeteria, and sat in a patio area in the sun - no rain today! Tomorrow we'll explore this huge campus further, assuming there is no rain. I will take off in the early afternoon so I get home at a decent hour. Right now, I plan to come back up on Thursday morning and stay until Saturday. I'll play each visit by ear.

I got a lot of information about what has happened to Rand's brain from some of the therapists today. Some times Rand seems like his old self but when you watch him going through simple tasks it is painfully obvious how scrambled his brain is, in the messages it receives and sends out. For instance, his right hand is swollen and it registers intense pain when it is touched. That is because the signals to the brain from that side register only pain at any touch, when it should register a simple touch like the left side does. The therapist's job is to retrain the brain to register feelings properly. He was shown pictures, objects, and words and asked to select the correct one. He was given a screwdriver and a pen and asked to select the one you write with. He selected the screwdriver. Same with a cup and a hammer, a mirror and a brush, a saltshaker and a towel. Wrong every time. This happened over and over and he was trying so hard to be right. He studied each object, thought about it, listened to the clues, ("You use it to drink from") and consistently selected the wrong object. He was so frustrated, near tears at times.

I hate to leave him tomorrow, but I have to, for his sake as well as mine. I want to help him so much and it kills me to watch him struggle so. I want to do it all for him. When I return, I bet I will see much improvement.

Keep Rand so close to your hearts. He is going to need all the prayers and good thoughts you can send his way, especially as he tackles the week ahead by himself. He will be so lonely and afraid. So will I.

Love, Connie


April 2, 2006
Day 62

This morning Rand and I had coffee and a stale pastry together in the hospital cafeteria. (Are people really trained to cook that miserably?) It was raining again so we couldn't go exploring outside. We wandered around the halls for a while before the nurse needed him for some procedures. Rand managed to "talk" his way out of eating in the dining room last night, much to my dismay, and had his dinner in the usual manner - alone. I set up my "Traveling Beauty Shoppe" again and got Rand all spiffed up for the therapists tomorrow. Rand registered surprise when I told him that I had to leave. I wanted to beat the traffic and the storm going home so I left a little earlier than I had planned. I had a smooth trip home, driving in and out of rain. I will go back to Vallejo on Thursday and stay until Saturday. These last few days Rand has been very quiet. He stares at the TV, the wall, curtain, and space with a blank look. I asked him what he was thinking and he said, "Nothing." I'm afraid he is right. I hope he will get some spark back, some interest in things, and some curiosity that will improve his quality of life. His eyes light up when he has visitors, hears a familiar voice, but then he closes down again. I am resisting the urge to call and see how he is. Maybe tomorrow night.

Keep him tight in your hearts and prayers.

Love,
Connie


April 3, 2006
Day 63

For the first time in 63 days, I did not go to see Rand. What an odd feeling. I didn't call either as I felt that he was exhausted, the weekday staff just came on board and wouldn't know him well enough to comment. I don't know if I will make it to Thursday without calling or not. This is a practice run for both of us.

Today I did finalize some living arrangements for Rand when he leaves Vallejo. I feel so good about it all and I will share the details with you at a later time. It is still too early to know if it will all work out as planned - a lot depends on how much progress he makes in the next week or two.

Today a friend suggested that it would be fun if people each made a taped greeting to Rand to be played for him at a later date. What a great idea! The message could contain funny stories about past adventures together, music, or anything your mind can conjure up! You have a couple of weeks to think up something clever and engaging, but just your voice and a brief greeting will make him happy. Rand recognizes voices as well as faces and literally "hearing" from you could bring him great joy.

For Christmas, Rand gave me tickets to a series of lectures by women who are movers and shakers. Tonight a friend went with me to the first one. The speaker was supposed to be Ann Richards, but she had to cancel for health reasons and Janet Reno took her place. What an interesting, engaging speaker she is! She is straightforward, humorous and I liked her. Combined with dinner, it was also a diverting evening with a good friend and good for the soul.

Keep Rand close.

Love,
Connie

April 4, 2006
Day 64

Today's epistle brings a bunch of disjointed events, musings and information. I talked with Rand about 5:00 p.m. this afternoon and he was feeling very down and very depressed. The only words I could understand were, "Oh, crap!" I agree. I talked to his case manager after the initial staff meeting about him today and they have a "soft" discharge date for him of April 27. That is assuming that he continues to make progress and nothing new occurs. I will meet with her on Thursday afternoon and she will have a better idea of how things are going, the therapist’s evaluations, wheelchair and leg brace projections, etc.

A few people asked about the taped greeting idea for Rand. It is just a thought - you could do one on your own, with others, or not at all, whatever. Some mentioned that they don't have tape recording capabilities anymore - hmmmmmm, hadn't thought of that! It might be something more appropriate for friends far away who can't come for a visit. If you decide to make one, send it to the house or I can pick it up. Let me know your thoughts.

Rand planted carrots and peas last fall and they are ripening nicely. I'll pull some carrots to take to him on Thursday. The peas have a way to go.

Someone also asked what my impressions/feeling are about the facilities where Rand is staying. I mentioned that the complex is huge - it is a full service hospital and rehab is only one section. The architecture is "Early Warehouse" in keeping with Vallejo's flavor of being an old river town. The hospital is built into a hillside and is generally ugly as sin! Construction is going on everywhere, so on top of being ugly it is still uglier covered with scaffolding, tarps, and all the trappings of a hardhat site.

Rand's room and surroundings are large, spacious and modern. His hospital bed is new and by a window with no view. The tray table is a marvel of design with a pop-out food shelf, pop-out vanity with mirror, storage shelves, etc. He has a TV on a long jointed "arm" over his bed that he can move all over to watch TV comfortably. It reminds me of the arm of the x-ray machine in a dentist's office. The floor has colored lines painted on it to take people to various departments. Rand will learn to wheel himself along the blue line to PT, yellow line to ST, etc. There are a few patios and outdoor sitting areas, but not many. It is an industrial setting and not at all attractive. In fact, nothing I've seen of Vallejo so far is attractive! We ventured up to the 7th floor last week and had a nice view of the flat, scrubby end of the North Bay. Not very attractive!

Almost four weeks until April 27 - that's a long time - almost three months to the day of his stroke. The most wonderful thing in the world would be if I could dismantle the room I'm preparing for him and bring him home that day. We'll see. A friend reminded me that diamonds are created under pressure - Rand is already a jewel so he can only get brighter and better.

Keep him close to your hearts and in your prayers. He is feeling so alone, sad and in despair. I'd give anything if I could help.

Love,
Connie



April 5, 2006
Day 65

This will be brief as I am packing to leave for Vallejo in the morning. I will be with Rand until Saturday or Sunday, depending on several things including the weather. I have an appointment with his case manager Thursday afternoon and today I received a message from his doctor wanting to talk to me. I hope we can meet and that I will get much information - much more than I have at this time.

I called Rand again tonight and he is so, so sad, scared, miserable and in need of a lot of TLC. I have that in abundance, but we'll see what his ability is to focus for any length of time and to accept whatever solace I can offer. I take the fact that they are keeping him for 30 days to be a positive note. The average stay is about 17 days, so I hope it means that they feel that he can make much progress in that time. I'll have the laptop along and will keep you posted.

Please keep him so very close to your hearts and in your prayers. It seems that his days are becoming more difficult - then again, he is more aware and that is good, too.

Love,
Connie


April 6, 7, 8
Days 66, 67, 68

Randbow is making wonderful progress! I saw a big difference in less than a week and friends who visited also saw a big improvement. One friend who visited hadn't seen him since his birthday and she was astounded by how far he has come and how good he looks.

I arrived in Vallejo early Thursday afternoon so I was able to attend several therapy sessions with Rand. They welcome family members into the sessions and even put us to work. I met with his case manager that afternoon and with his doctor a couple of times during my stay. They had nothing much new to add to what is already known. The case manager talked to me about Rand's equipment needs when he leaves Vallejo and we will be touching base frequently as April 27 approaches. The doctor gave Rand an injection in his right shoulder of cortisone and other goodies to help ease the pain of the separation of bone and muscles. It didn't work. He also x-rayed Rand's hips as he has been complaining of pain. He has arthritis, which we already knew, and nothing more serious, which he was afraid of. Whew!

Rand has seven therapy sessions a day Monday thru Friday and four on Saturday. Sunday is his day of rest. Five of the sessions are physical therapy, one is occupational and the last is speech. There is an eighth session thrown in called Hand Therapy. Each finger on his right hand is gently but firmly and closely wrapped in cotton cord, then each finger is massaged to get the lymphatic fluid flowing and then unwrapped. On to the next finger, the thumb and the whole hand. After all the unwrapping, his whole hand and forearm are dipped into a large tub of ice water three times. The icing of his hand is extremely painful as his brain is sending out the wrong messages, but this keeps the swelling in his hand under control and makes it easier to move each joint. His speech/word formation is improving also. He can say a few more words in sequence before trailing off. His memory is better and rote learning is slowly coming back (days of the week, counting, etc.) Each day I was there, Rand "walked" about 20-30 feet ten times with the assistance of the therapist and a parallel bar! He had to rest twice during each trek, but then, so did the therapist - Rand is not exactly Tinkerbelle! Next week she said that Rand would start using a cane!! Can you imagine how far his muscles, neurological processes; brain waves have come in the last two months? And they aren't going back! Once they come through, they stay put. He got the brace for his right leg and foot on Friday, so that also is helping. His determination, patience, and Norwegian toughness are shining through! Go, Rand, go!

Several people have asked about visiting Rand and he'd love to see you. Sundays are by far the best day to drive up there and back as you can spend time with him and there's no limits or pressure of classes, consequently, Sunday is also a very long day for him, as he has nothing to do. Saturday is a close second as his classes are done by 2:00. Weekdays are tough because you can't spend any time with him until after 5:00 p.m. He has a couple of limited breaks during the day for lunch and rest, but that's it. He had an unexpected 90 min. break yesterday and all he wanted to do was lay down and sleep - which is exactly what he did. It is a nice 90-minute drive each way, and I've had no traffic problems. There are two places to stay overnight not far from the hospital but the restaurants are all chain outfits and generally lousy. Driving up mid-morning on the weekend, having lunch somewhere other than Vallejo, spending time with Rand and driving home in mid-to late afternoon is very do-able. Please let me know if you are thinking of going for a visit - I can give you directions to the hospital as well as to the lousy eating joints!

Thank you for keeping Rand in your hearts and prayers. He is lonely, but is making such progress. All of your support helps him make the most of every day.

Love,
Connie


During my visit this week, I learned a lot more about the Vallejo Rehab Hospital, which I thought was interesting. The unit has 52 beds but they only take about 48 patients so they have some room for isolation of people who may be or may become contagious. It is a teaching rehab unit, taking students from all over the world to do post-graduate work in physical therapy. They currently have about 25 PT who are spending from 3 to 9 months studying and working with the Kaiser therapists. They pay tuition and receive group apartments, a small monthly stipend plus the course work. Most students are from Europe and Japan because they have to quit their jobs in order to study in Vallejo and most Americans can't afford to do that. In Europe there is a 3-year waiting list to get into this program! Rand has a physical therapist from Japan, one from Germany and two from England. This weekend, one group graduated and another group arrived, ready to start their orientation on Monday. None of the students have any affiliation with Kaiser.

I heard through the grapevine that Rand is everyone's favorite. No surprise there! He is the pet of all the therapists, nurses and aides. Rand is so easy going, easy to please, get along well where ever he is, including in rehab. Some of the people they have to work with are difficult either by nature or because of their circumstances, so Rand is a joy to work with. In spite of his emotional state when I call or leave him, he is happy, smiling, hard-working and pleasant all the rest of the week. That's my guy!

Keep him close to your hearts.

Love,
Connie


April 9, 2006
Day 69

Today's news is about preparations for Rand's Room. A good friend and neighbor worked with me most of the day to set up and rearrange furniture in Rand's new room and it is starting to come together. This week I will buy a TV, hang pictures, bring in clothes and do the final detailing of the room. Sometime next week I will take pictures of Rand's Room and send them along.

How many times have I said that the day was the hardest day of my life? It seems like a gazillion of them. But today was another hardest day of my life. I have been toying with, skirting around, debating, doubting, second guessing, the move of Rand's chair from our family room to his new home. I have put it off because in my heart I hoped that some miracle would happen and he would come home to occupy it again. After the days with him in Vallejo this week, I realized, once again. that it will not happen. The hard realities keep pounding home. Rand's chair is now in its new place, its old place at home is a void. I have moved things around trying to make the emptiness less visible, but it won't go away. This is a teary night. Tomorrow may be better, and the day after that and the following day - etc., but right now it is so hard.

I talked to Rand tonight. He had a long day. A friend called, I'm sure he slept a lot, maybe looked at some magazines that I left, watched some TV, and probably let the hours slip by. Tomorrow his week will start in earnest and he will be up to his ears in therapy through Friday and doing well. I will go up on Saturday, spend Easter Sunday with him - biting ears off chocolate bunnies, go to therapy sessions on Monday, talk with the doctor, therapists, nurses, aides, and keep on keeping on, as a friend says. His progress will continue and he'll be better and better. I hope I will, too.

Keep Rand close to your heart and always in your prayers and thoughts.

Love,
Connie


April 10, 2006
Day 70

The rain keeps pouring. It was so heavy last night that it woke me up, but it eased up later in the morning and we actually had sunshine for the first time in weeks. Another storm is coming in tomorrow and it will probably last all week. Another storm is due on Saturday so that may change my departure time for Vallejo - I might go up on Friday instead. The hills are gorgeous - green and lush and in spite of my griping about the extraordinary amount of rain we have had, there is no need to start building an ark.

Many of you have taken my Soap Box about artery scans to heart and have had one or scheduled one. Thank you, that is such great news. So far, only one person that I know of has been shown to have a problem. He is working with his doctor and is now way ahead of the game. If it prevents one of our dear friends from suffering a stroke, it will be worth every penny.

A high school classmate of Rand's has a nephew who is physical therapist in Sacramento. He emailed the following information to his aunt about Vallejo Rehab:

"If there is one place you want to go
for rehab after a stroke, that is the place. World
renown for it's rehab and research on strokes. It is a
multidisciplinary approach. All therapists that work
there are excellent and have high levels of knowledge in
Neuro and that is why so many PT students try to get
their clinical education there. For more in depth
info I would do a google search under Kaiser
Permanente Vallejo rehabilitation."

I am so grateful that Rand is there - tough as it is.

I talked to Rand tonight and a friend called him last night. If you would like to call him, please email me and I'll send you the information on how to do that. I really need to be the gatekeeper on phone calls so the nurse's station and Rand are not overwhelmed. Thanks.

Tomorrow some friends and I are going to put some of the final touches on Rand's Room. The room will not be done until Rand occupies it, but it is getting there. The color scheme is red, white and blue, what else? His classroom, wardrobe, workbench, neckties, bowling bag, all reflected his Captain America image and passion and his new living arrangement will, too. I'll take the camera along and send some photos.

Keep Rand close to your hearts. He is asleep now after a hard day's work.

Love,
Connie


April 11, 2006
Day 71

The rain continues, all this week and next - moss is growing on my north side! Enough already!

I talked to Rand tonight. All is well. I'm anxious to see him later in the week and to see and hear about his progress.

A friend and I did some more decorating of Rand's Room today and another friend installed the TV. It is looking nice. I took some pictures, will do some more odds and ends tomorrow, take more pictures and then do a homepage so you can get an idea of his new living quarters.

Early on in this nightmare, when I was swamped with all the issues surrounding Rand's care and our new circumstances, I said that my greatest fear was that the time would come when I had little to do. That time is approaching. I have been productively busy and involved ever since I retired. After January 28 I resigned from everything and have been consumed by the immediate fires, concentrating on Rand. I am now casting about for some meaningful ways to contribute the time, skills and knowledge that I have - not full time and certainly on my own terms and schedule. No, I'm not going to volunteer at an elementary school! I have to assume that something with my name on it will show up in good time.

Keep Rand close to your hearts; remember how hard he is working and how much he needs your thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Connie


April 12, 2006
Day 72

No news is good news. I talked to Rand tonight and he was very tired and ready to saw wood. With the weather pattern the way it is, it looks like I'll be going with Plan A - drive to Vallejo on Saturday and return Monday. That way I get to spend the most time with Rand outside of therapy sessions, watch him chew the ears off chocolate Easter bunnies on Sunday, talk to his doctor, the nurses and therapists on Monday. Maybe we'll even have a break in the rain so we can get outside during the weekend.

A couple of friends have called him and he remembers the calls - a big, positive step!

Keep him close to your hearts.

Love,
Connie

April 14, 2006
Day 74

The update for Day 73 was the photos of Rand's Room - there was no other message or epistle. I'm pleased that so many commented on the room and approve. There are no carpet or rugs in his room as they are not compatible with a wheelchair. There is plenty of floor space for Rand to maneuver his chair.

The picture of Randbo at the end of the Rand's Room homepage was taken at my cousin's house in Javnaker, Norway last September. It is my favorite picture of Rand. How handsome can you get?? So many people thought that it was a current photo of him - it isn't but he's still handsome as ever!

Today Rand's Case Manager at the Vallejo Rehab Hospital called. She said that Rand is progressing nicely at the rate they expect and his discharge date is still April 27. She said that all is well and she had nothing else to report. That's good news. I will run down all his therapists on Monday and get their input.

I leave for Vallejo in the morning and will return late Monday afternoon. It looks like we will be trapped in the hospital again over the weekend because of a nasty rain storm that will hit us on Easter Sunday. Oh, well - I'm bringing plenty of chocolate bunnies so we can bite the ears off together. Thank you so much for all the Easter greetings for Rand. He'll be so happy to see them.

I just talked to Rand and he is in good spirits. I think he has settled into the routine, people and faces of Vallejo.

Keep him in your thoughts and prayers. More changes are on the horizon for him.

A happy and blessed Easter to all of you.

Love,
Connie

April 18, 2006
Days 75, 76, 77, 78

Only nine more days before I can bring Rand "home" to his new room. It is exciting, scary, sad, happy, all rolled into one event. I hope that you got the photos I sent (more than once) of Rand over the Easter weekend. We finally had sunshine in the Bay Area after literally 40 days and 40 nights of rain. It was a little chilly and windy in Vallejo, but being out in the sun for awhile was a great treat.

I was able to have some in-depth conversations with Rand's doctors over the weekend. They are wonderful, involved, concerned, thorough and attentive to Rand's needs as well as my questions and concerns. Their assessments of Rand at this time are that he has made some progress during his time/therapy in Vallejo. His progress has been slow and it is an indication to them of the rate of his future progress - over the next months, up to a year or so. His physical abilities have improved somewhat, in his ability to stand, turn, balance, take some heavily assisted steps but he is still able to do only 30-40% of the work. His cognition, understanding, comprehension, receptive language, memory are all severely impacted and probably will not improve much beyond what he has now. His speech is probably as good as it will get, which is minimal. His ability to follow directions, to respond to his own needs, initiate action on his behalf is very, very limited. He can not call for help, verbally, via signals, or communicate in any other way, which is a major concern for his safety. The neuro-psychologist who has been working with him, feels that he does have memory of the past, our married years, his career, family, etc., but the process of retrieving that information is so difficult given his scrambled brain waves, that it is extraordinarily tough, almost impossible, for him to pull up that information.
Rand's emotional state is also precarious and he cries easily at things that you and I wouldn't think twice about. Any feelings of happiness or thankfulness bring an emotional meltdown. The neuro-psychologist said that his small range of emotion multiplies itself ten-fold at any event. His antidepressant meds were changed this week, hoping that he will respond better.

Rand has developed a nasty tremor in his right arm, hand, leg and foot. His leg/foot is not as bad as his arm/hand, which has to be strapped in place to keep it on the arm rest. He is now receiving meds to help control the "spasticity."

Rand's overall pain was severe Sunday afternoon, shortly after I took the photos of him. It was about as much as he could stand and me too. The doctor was called and he prescribed a narcotic, which finally took hold after four hours of excruciating pain, all related to the stroke. It scares me to death to think of what would have happened if I hadn't been there as Rand can not call for help, make his needs known. A nurse would have discovered his plight by chance, if at all.

I talked to Randbo this evening and he was content, pain-free, tucked in for the night and as sweet as ever. I will be going to Vallejo again on Thursday, spending Friday in Caregivers Training and coming home Sunday. Caregivers training is one-on-one training that starts at 8:30 a.m. and goes until 5:00 p.m. I will work with Rand and the therapists all day, learning to lift him, transfer him from wheelchair to bed to other chairs, change his diapers, roll him over in bed, tend his wound, dress him, deal with frequent issues such as aspiration, shoulder pain, his braces, etc. The following Wednesday I will go back to Vallejo to bring him to his new home. A friend will be going with me to assist in the transport, which will be so helpful.

The roller-coaster never seems to end - Rand's life isn't getting easier as I had hoped and expected. I'm continuing to run interference for him, but it isn't enough. I am learning to cherish the good, pain-free, emotionally even times but I haven't mastered the tough, scary times. I hope that will come, too.

Thank you for all the cards, emails and phone calls. Rand enjoys them and so do I. I have saved every one and they are in a basket in his new room. Since Easter the basket is too small so I'll get a bigger one to hold them all.

Yikes - this is more than you wanted to know! Thanks for listening, good friends. Keep Rand close to your hearts and in your thoughts and prayers. He is getting closer to home every day and your support is needed more than ever.

Love,
Connie

April 20, 2006
Day 79

The day I've been waiting for for three months is arriving. A week from tomorrow Rand will be very close to home. He will be settled once and for all, no more changes, no more new faces, no more uncertainty, just some familiar things in surroundings that will come to be home to him for the foreseeable future. I still have a knot in my heart and stomach knowing that we won't be home together, but my brain knows that that can't happen right now. When I get home on Sunday I'm putting up the rainbow/Randbow flag on his flagpole. Nothing has flown there for weeks and weeks because of the rain, but now the time has come.

Whew! It is closing in on midnight and I have so much to do before I leave tomorrow. When I return Sunday evening, I should have tons more information, be a semi-experienced "Randbo Mover and Shaker" and ready to take on his world in a new setting. I hope to have a schedule for his in-home nursing, in-house therapy, meds, a bead on his custom made wheel chair and other aids that will enhance his life. I'm meeting with the RN at his new home at 10:00 in the morning and addressing the last minute questions, thoughts, concerns, right down to his lunch menu when he arrives on Thursday noon. I'm bringing in some of his clothes, a new toothbrush, pictures, doo-dads, everything I can think of to make sure everything is in order for him.

Friends will be driving up to Vallejo to visit him on Saturday which will be such fun. Rand will be so happy to see them. I plan to bring back as many of his belongings as possible and leave him with just enough clean clothes to get him through Thursday. Another friend is driving up to Vallejo with me on Wednesday to help bring Rand back on Thursday. What a relief - the drive up there alone with him was too scary. In retrospect it was just plain dangerous and stupid.

It is getting closer, good friends! Thank you for your good thoughts and prayers that have brought Rand this far. I talked to him tonight and he was calm, content, pain free, and surprised that I am arriving tomorrow. I told him to practice his pucker and hug because he will need them tomorrow. He didn't understand. Oh, well - guess we'll just have to keep on practicing over and over until he gets it!

Love,
Connie


April 23, 2006
Days 80, 81, 82, 83

Randbo's rainbow flag and streamer are flying high from his flagpole again in anticipation of his move close to home this Thursday! Whew - what a month this has been for him. He has made progress in all areas. I'm anxious to hear your reactions after you spend time with him after all this time and therapy have passed.

Rand and I spent a long, grueling day together on Friday as I was trained, retrained, checked off, demonstrated competency in all the areas of his care. We started at 8:00 a.m. and finished at 5:00 p.m. with a break for lunch. Rand was so patient as he was lifted, moved, twisted, turned, over and over again by therapists demo-ing the techniques for me, then watching me do the same and repeating the maneuvers again and again. We/I moved him from his wheelchair to the bed, to another chair, to a bathtub, to a shower chair, to a commode, in and out of a car, up and down curbs, steps, always moving him back to his wheelchair between transfers. I got training on his three pages of medications and learned how to give him shots in his abdomen, even though I didn't have to actually do it. The nurse assured me that the first time would be the hardest, then it would be a piece of cake! Uff da. When all was said and done, Rand and I agreed that we still make a pretty damn good team, even if we were both worn out.

Friends drove up to see Rand on Saturday and we spent some great time together. Rand and I both appreciated the time and effort it took to make that trip. I left this afternoon and I will go back to Vallejo on Wednesday to bring Rand back on Thursday. A friend will be going along and will sit with Rand on the return trip to keep him company and occupied. What a gift that will be! Never again will I drive him that distance alone. We will take him to his new home and get him settled that afternoon. The next day a high school friend of his will arrive as a special surprise and will spend the day with Rand. They haven't seen each other in years. In fact, last week was the 50th anniversary of Rand and John's excellent adventure as representatives of Minnesota to the National High School Choir in St. Louis! What a reunion that will be! Pictures will be taken, music and memories will abound!

Weeds, dust, bills, what are those things? I did real grocery shopping tonight for the first time in three months. I am so far behind in everything that I get a headache thinking about it. I figure that I will be able to come up for air and some normalcy in the next month or two. Rand will be settled in, in-home therapy will start, local doctor's appointments will be under way, I can spend time away getting things done, straightening things out around the house and yard and then tackle our 2005 taxes. Yikes - in some ways, January 28th seems like yesterday, in others it seems like years ago and in others it still seems like a nightmare and I will wake up and find everything back to normal. That last thought is getting dimmer and dimmer as the weeks pass.

For the 83rd time, dear friends, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Hold Rand close to your hearts. He is getting closer to home hour by hour.

Love,
Connie



April 24, 2006
Day 84

There's no news of any consequence. I spent the day running errands for all the last minute things that have to be taken care of for Rand's arrival on Thursday. His hospital bed, walking assist device and other things will be delivered tomorrow. I have a meeting with the doctor/owner in the morning and then a bunch more errands to run. Today I got the permanent handicapped parking placard for the car. I also brought more clothes and toiletries to his room and tomorrow I'll do more of the same. The door pulls on his closet are too small for him to deal with so I found some good sized wooden red, white and blue stars that I fashioned into pulls that I will attach with silk cord. I put felt bumpers on the backs and I think they will do the job. I talked to his case manager this morning and got a running start on the discharge process and it sounds quite time-consuming. I'm glad I can begin it on Wednesday afternoon so we can leave Vallejo around 10:30 Thursday a.m. and have Rand "home" in time for lunch.

I'm anxious to see Rand's reaction to his new home. I'm nervous about his reaction, I'm concerned about all aspects of this next step as it is huge for both of us. I hope all goes well, that I've done everything possible and correctly, that I have all the ducks in a row and that the transfer will be slicker than snot! Uff da - I'll be so glad when he is "home" safe and sound.

Rand should be up and ready for visitors next week, May 1. Visiting hours are 9:30 - 11:00 a.m.; 1:00 - 4:00 and 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. seven days a week. For the next couple of weeks, please let me know when you plan to visit so I can be the gate keeper, making sure that there are only a few visitors at a time and be there when possible. Thanks.

The address of his new home is 5853 Antigua Drive, San Jose, 95120. The phone number is (408) 997-3929. That is the main number so one of the caregivers will have to go to his room to help him pick up the extension phone so he can talk to you.

Whew - I'll be so happy and relieved a week from now! Day 88 will be a watershed day.

Keep Rand close to your hearts - he's come so far and now he'll be closer than ever and better than ever.

Love,
Connie


April 27, 2006
Days 85, 86, 87

Operation Rainbow is complete - Randbo has landed! Tonight Rand is tucked safely in bed, with a familiar pillow, pillowcase (ironed with lavender water), his Vikings blanket and necktie quilt to keep him toasty, just two miles from our house. What a joy and what a great relief! The trip home was uneventful; Buzzie sat in back with Rand to keep him occupied. He was so interested in the passing scenery that we were both amazed. We sang together and had a good time. What a contrast to the trip to Vallejo a month ago!

He had a grand greeting when he arrived at his new home early this afternoon. The staff turned out to greet him and they had a super lunch waiting for him. When I wheeled Rand into his room I stopped just inside the French doors. Rand looked around and said "Ohhhhhhhhhhh." He recognized many of the things in the room and he was happy. He ran his hand over his blue chair, fingered his necktie quilt that my sister Annie made for him, recognized several items on the shelves and walls. On his table was a card from a friend with a package of her wonderful flavored pretzels. He munched on those while he took in everything in the room. I was so, so happy and so relieved!

Four houses away there was a sign hanging on the front post that said "Hi Rand!!". Turns out that one of his former students lives there with her husband and three children! Not only had she hung out a sign for her favorite teacher, but also she baked wonderful cookies for his arrival and had them in his room. A picture of Rand and Laurie in front of her house with the sign is below. After lunch, Rand sat in his favorite chair for about two minutes before falling into a deep sleep. That was a real nap! His room is so quiet, spacious, airy and light, in contrast to the hospital rooms he has been in. It will be three months tomorrow since he has been in a real house with his own things.

Rand made huge progress in just the last few days. Buzzie and I both had tears in our eyes as we watched him walk yesterday in therapy. He really started walking!!! He lifts his right leg to take a step, no more pushing and coaxing it along by the therapists. The therapist now holds him lightly to keep him safe and balanced, but Rand uses his cane and moves both legs and feet to move forward. He couldn't do that when I left last Sunday. In Occupational Therapy he jumped from a "2" to a "4" on a scale of 1-7 since last Friday! Yesterday he completed timed tasks like there was nothing to them. His vocabulary has increased so much. He still can not make his wants and needs known, but he is using multi-syllable words and new words in partial sentences. I talked to his doctor this morning about having Rand return sometime for a "tune up" and that is very possible. Another sigh of relief!

Tomorrow, Friday, Rand will have a fabulous surprise as his high school friend, John Shogren is coming to visit him for the day. They haven't seen each other in years so it will be a grand reunion. The two of them represented the state of Minnesota in the National High School Choir in St. Louis, MO, 50 years ago last week, so I suspect there may be some singing going on besides good memories, some belly laughs, etc. John lives in Colorado so this is a very special trip for both of them. Full report will follow!



Rand and Laurie Miller, his former student, with her welcome sign.

Thank you for all of your support, prayers, good thoughts, cards, emails, phone calls and visits since Rand has been away. All of those things helped him come closer to home. The day is coming when you can help keep Rand's therapy progress moving along. I'll let you know more in the near future. Right now it is just so wonderful to have him out of hospitals and close to home. Give yourselves a hug from us.

Love,
Connie

April 29, 2006
Day 89

After all the excitement, the move, new surroundings, new faces, new routines, a surprise visitor, Rand is starting to settle in. I think it will take a few more days before he is really comfortable. He is not sleeping well at night but sleeps long and hard during the afternoon, which has to be modified. A nap is one thing but his deep sleep is not good. He is being waited on hand and foot which also has to change. I can already see him losing ground from his time at Vallejo. I need to spend some time with the caregivers and train them how to transfer him, what they need to require him to do, etc. He is becoming too dependent. The Home Health Nurse from Kaiser will be coming to see and evaluate him on Monday and then get OT, PT and ST scheduled. I was told that none of the therapy would start until a week from Monday (5/8) and I lodged a formal complaint. That is far too long for him to go without therapy. I hope the complaint will be addressed this Monday so things can start moving ahead.

Several people have asked questions about the Board and Care. Dawnview-Almaden is a licensed facility that will eventually care for six adults. Rand is the third resident. The two others are an elderly couple that has the master bedroom. They are nice people and he is in a wheelchair. None of the residents will be Alzheimer's patients and the owners (a doctor and nurse) are being very careful about screening applicants. They have turned down at least six people in the last two weeks because they did not see them as a "fit" for the environment they are creating. The caregivers are all licensed and experienced. There are three full time (24/7) caregivers who live there to care for the six (currently 3) residents. The caregivers are Filipino, one was a doctor in the Philippines, another was a teacher and I'm unsure of the third. The home opened on April 1. It is a lovely one-story home in a residential neighborhood that has been remodeled to accommodate the resident's needs, two miles from our house. There is a common living room, an eating area and kitchen, a nice backyard with a patio and a ramp leading to it from the living room. There is a ramp with wrought-iron railings to/from the front door. All in all, I'm very pleased with the care and the facility. The doctor and/or nurse are there every day to give Rand his shots and check on everyone/everything. The nurse will be going with us to Rand's doctor's appointment on Friday as she wants to be fully informed and she also has questions. I appreciate that. Like I said, Rand is the caregivers' sweetheart and they are doing everything for him - far too much for his own good! The other alternative for Rand is a nursing home and I just couldn't do that. This is a wonderful, safe, caring and pleasant environment for him and I feel very good about the choice.

Today a wonderful friend came over and spent most of the day getting the outside landscaping, lights, irrigation system, etc. up to snuff. What a gift, a relief and a joy it is to have all of those things done! Gary brought in bags of fertilizer, roto tilled Rand's
"Farm", planted three good sized tomato plants that he has grown in his greenhouse, straightened out the drip irrigation lines, mastered the timer for the eleven stations of the watering system and three more for the lights. He cut branches from trees that needed pruning, replaced light bulbs, on and on and on. I did some major pruning, weed pulling, cleaning, raking, and acted as the go-fer when needed. I can't begin to express my appreciation for all that Gar did. Whew - big job! I feel so much better. I just can't keep up with all the jobs that Rand and I shared.

We have another busy week ahead of us, which will start unfolding Monday. Until then, I hope to relax a bit with Rand tomorrow.

Keep him close to your hearts.

Love,
Connie


April 30, 2006
Day 91

Recently, I got my "Day" numbering fouled up. Yesterday was Day 90, not 89 - and then if I could spell or at least remember to use spell check on the Homepage and elsewhere, I could be dangerous. Sorry for the poor editing.

Rand had some visitors today and a long "walk" outside in his wheelchair. He is still adjusting to his new surroundings, the food, routine, people. I suspect it will take another week or more before he feels at home.

I had a brief demo with the staff today about how to transfer him not using the strap around his waist or chest. I agree that it is OK to use in the bathroom/shower for safety reasons, but not on a regular transfer basis. Using the strap to pull him up takes away his need to use his own strength and balance and lets him rely on the caregivers to do all the work. The same goes for propelling himself in the wheelchair - he is capable of moving around the house under his own power - they don't have to push him everywhere. I'm sounding like the therapists in Vallejo who scolded me about the same things!

There is a busy week ahead, complete with haircut. I have been trimming Rand's hair for the last two months or so and it shows. Yikes - he would be upset if he knew how bad it is!

Tonight I sat out in the backyard, enjoying the results of all the labor yesterday. Everything is working, the tomato plants are growing, the weather is wonderful and the glass of wine was grand, but someone is still missing.

Keep Rand close.

Love,
Connie