June 3, 2007

"Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is.
The way you cope with it is what makes the difference"
Mark Twain

A friend sent me that quote today and it has real meaning. I hope I am coping in a way that makes a difference for Rand and for me - maybe even for some other people.

Our friendly passenger did not drive "over the hill" with us today - but will join us again tomorrow. I found out today that he is 52 years old - he had a stroke at age 50. That is very sobering. There is a new "demo" patient in the group this time and I doubt that he is 30 years old. He is far too young for that situation and it shows in his attitude. He is angry, argumentative, lashes out at the PT/OTs, is an unpleasant factor in an otherwise upbeat group. The instructors are so amazed at the progress Rand has made since they saw him in January/February. Not only his physical progress, but also his communication has improved so much.

Rand was very quiet today on the ride to and from Santa Cruz. He enjoyed his therapy time and Mason, in particular, worked him hard. When I left him a while ago, he seemed resigned, not happy, just resigned to the fact that I was leaving. He wants me with him 24/7 and his ability to understand that I can't do that comes and goes. I didn't take last Monday off because it was Memorial Day and this Monday we will be in Santa Cruz again. I will take the 11th off for sure.

Yesterday I got the letter from his doctor to be included in our Living Will/Trust/Advanced Health Directives, etc. It is also sobering to read that Rand is no longer capable of making decisions about himself and others. I know that, but coming in medical terms is another jolt. The copies are now all attached to the proper legal documents - another hurdle completed and another step towards peace of mind for everyone involved. I still have a knot in my stomach.

Keep Rand close.

Love,
Connie